A newly married man asked his wife, “would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?”
“Honey,” the woman replied sweetly,“i’d have married you no matter who left you a fortune.”
Q: Why are New Yorkers always depressed?
A: The light at the end of their tunnel is New jersey.
“When people ask me if i have any spare change,” says comedian Nick Arnette, “i tell them i have it at home in my spare wallet.”