Conan O’Brien
“Not surprisingly, Clients 1 through 8 were Charlie Sheen.”
Stephen Colbert
“I sat next to the guy three times and I didn’t pick up on any of this, and I usually have excellent whore-dar.”
**Jay Leno **
“The hooker said Spitzer was done in a New York minute.”
David Letterman
“It’s so sunny and bright outside that earlier today, Eliot Spitzer came out of a brothel squinting”
“Messages Left on Eliot Spitzer’s Answering Machine”
- “Hey, what’s new?”
- “It’s Barack Obama. Remember our conversation about being my running mate? Never mind.”
- “Ralph Nader here. Glad to hear I’m not the only politician who has to pay for it.”
- “Hi, I’m calling from the ‘New York Post.’ Would you rather be known as ‘Disgraced Governor Perv’ or ‘Humiliated Whore Fiend’?”
- “This is John McCain. If it makes you feel better, I once got caught having sex with Lincoln’s wife.”
- “It’s Dr. Phil. Call me if you need any horse**** advice.”
- “This is Sen. Larry Craig. Do you ever go through the Minneapolis airport?”
- “It’s Wolf Blitzer. Call me if you ever want a hot Spitzer-Blitzer three-way.”
- “Paris Hilton here. I would have done it for free.”
- “It’s Arnold Schwarzenegger. Thanks, I’m no longer America’s creepiest governor.”
