Sorry boss ! I am late but this is not my fault…
http://www.gupistan.com/gallery/1/traffic3.jpg
So what? No excuses. This is what most bosses wud say even if you show them such pictures
yep ..you rite man ! becoz there is difference in you and ur BOSS..
**
When you take a long time, you’re slow.
When your boss takes a longtime,he’s thorough.
When you don’t get something done, you’re lazy.When your boss doesn’tgetsomething done, he’s too busy.
When you make a mistake, you’re an idiot.
When your boss makes amistake,he’s only human.
When you do it your own way, you don’t do what your told. When your bossdoes it, he’s showing creativity.
When you do it on your own, you’re overstepping your bounds.When yourbossdoes it, he’s demonstrating initiative.
When you take a stand, you’re being bull-headed.When your boss takes astand, he’s being firm.
When you violate a rule, you’re self-centered.When your boss skips afewrules, he’s being original.
When you please your boss, you’re apple-polishing.When your bosspleaseshis boss, he’s being co-operative.
When you help a peer, you’re not busy enough.
When your boss does it,he’s a team player.
When someone else does your work, you’re passing the buck.When someone else does his work, he’s assigning responsibility.
When you’re out of the office, you’re wandering around.When your boss is out of the office, he’s on business.
When you call in sick, you’re going golfing.
When your boss calls insick,he must be very
ill.
When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.When your boss applies for leave, it’s because he’s overworked.
When you’re seen shopping during work hours, you’re screwing off.When your boss is doing the same, he’s picking up office supplies.
When you get a raise, you’re lucky.When he gets one, he really earned it.
When you do a good job, you get a pat on the back.When he does a good job,he gets a bonus. AND…
When all of you do a good job, he gets a promotion.**
Lagta hai Boss has the remote control and sitting in truck behind there
http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/biggrin.gif
*“na maiN momin vich masiitaaN, na maiN muusaa, na fir’aun!”
*
[This message has been edited by Ali_R (edited September 25, 2001).]
nope, pair boss ka hay, dumm kisee aur ki.. (NO punns intended for guppies nicks)
http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/hehe.gif
Life is all a big confusion.. people ignore their feelings, their thoughts, their ideas, their theories, their wishes, and they even ignore what they WANT in order to be happy. Yet surprisingly they remain calm!
**you too have ways to fool around your boss…Confused ? **
http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/smile.gif
-
Never walk without a document in your hands People with documents in their hands look like hardworking employees heading for important meetings. People with nothing in their hands look like they’re heading for the cafeteria. People with a newspaper in their hand look like they’re heading for the toilet. Above all, make sure you carry loads of stuff home with you at night, thus generating the false impression that you work longer hours than you do.
-
Use computers to look busy
Any time you use a computer, it looks like “work” to the casual observer. You can send and receive personal e-mail, chat and generally have a blast without doing anything remotely related to work. These aren’t exactly the societal benefits that the proponents of the computer revolution would like to talk about but they’re not bad either. When you get caught by your boss - and you will get caught – your best defense is to claim you’re teaching yourself to use new software, thus saving valuable training dollars. -
Messy desk
Top management can get away with a clean desk. For the rest of us, it looks like we’re not working hard enough. Build huge piles of documents around your workspace. To the observer, last year’s work looks the same as today’s work; it’s volume that counts. Pile them high and wide. If you know somebody is coming to your cubicle, bury the document you’ll need halfway down in an existing stack and rummage for it when he/she arrives. -
Voice Mail
Never answer your phone if you have voice mail. People don’t call you just because they want to give you something for nothing - they call because they want YOU to do work for THEM. That’s no way to live. Screen all your calls through voice mail. If somebody leaves a voice mail message for you and it sounds like impending work, respond during lunch hour when you know they’re not there - it looks like you’re hardworking and conscientious even though you’re being a devious weasel. -
Looking Impatient and Annoyed
According to George Costanza, one should also always try to look impatient and annoyed to give your bosses the impression that you are always busy. -
Leave the office late
Always leave the office late, especially when the boss is still around. You could read magazines and storybooks that you always wanted to read but have no time until late before leaving. Make sure you walk past the boss’ room on your way out. Send important emails at unearthly hours (e.g. 9:35pm, 7:05am, etc.) and during public holidays. -
Creative Sighing for Effect
Sigh loudly when there are many people around, giving the impression that you are under extreme pressure. -
Stacking Strategy
It is not enough to pile lots of documents on the table. Put lots of books on the floor etc. (thick computer manuals are the best). -
Build Vocabulary
Read up on some computer magazines and pick out all the jargon and new products. Use the phrases freely when in conversation with bosses. Remember: They don’t have to understand what you say, but you sure sound impressive. -
MOST IMPORTANT:
DON’T let your boss know these funda !!
LOL@dude
http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/hehe.gif
Confused bhai yeh kiya howa
http://www3.pak.org/gupshup/smilies/eek.gif
*“na maiN momin vich masiitaaN, na maiN muusaa, na fir’aun!”
*
[This message has been edited by Ali_R (edited September 26, 2001).]
[quote]
Originally posted by dude:
you too have ways to fool around your boss...Confused ?
[/quote]
actually to be honest, never needed to.. cuz i used to work right in front of all my bosses (computer store, warehouse work, floor work, almost every place i worked bosses were around, so, :), still, nice techniques yar, will try them sometimes)
Life is all a big confusion.. people ignore their feelings, their thoughts, their ideas, their theories, their wishes, and they **even ignore what they WANT in order to be happy.* Yet surprisingly they remain calm!*