What language did/do you speak with your child?
What language do you speak with your significant other?
Does it make a difference if you speak language x with your child and y with your spouse in terms of what the child picks up first?
Hope it makes sense ?! :-/
Re: Language
**i have no X and Y lolllzzzzz...
...i spoke my regional language back in india until i was age 14 then started speaking urdu until i came to canada at age 20 and since then i speak urdu with my bro and bhabhi but ONLY english with my nieces and nephews b/c they don't understand or speak urdu. so basically i'm using three languages all the time. i find no problem switching back N forth. i'm a multilingual in its true sense hahaha**
Re: Language
What language did/do you speak with your child? What language do you speak with your significant other? Does it make a difference if you speak language x with your child and y with your spouse in terms of what the child picks up first?
Hope it makes sense ?! :-/
I will talk to my kid in english/urdu
I will talk with my significant other in English/Urdu and sometimes in his language(if its other than urdu)
speak all possible languages in front of the child...so tht the kid is bilingual :@:
cuz tht is how i picked up arabic.....and urdu
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i speak to my husband in english... dotn knwo why but thats just hwo we started off... we speak to our kid in urdu... he doesnt knwo any english as of yet even though he hears us speaking it... what little he does know is through what we have made relative to him.. like no.. or dont... or this... we dont plan on teaching him any other language... especially not english cuz that will mess up his chances of learning danish properly.
what we realized with him is... if we say somethign to him in a diff language than urdu.. he does learn.. but he just doesnt pick it up like that... like our maid used to speak to him in arabic and he learned quite a few words just like that...
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^ so both of you as parents speak to Aariz in urdu? But he hears the two of you speak to eachother in english and still he hasn't picked it up?,
Hmm interesting.
In my case, I speak to baby in urdu and hubby speaks to her in dutch. Between us we speak dutch aswell.
I guess I'm trying to find out whether she will pick up urdu at all as for now I am the only one speaking to her solely in urdu :-/ she is with me most of the time ...
Re: Language
What language did/do you speak with your child? Mostly in English, but some Urdu words and phrases. Her grandparents (who she sees regularly) speak to her in Urdu. Actually most of the 'tricks' she does, she does in response to Urdu words.
What language do you speak with your significant other? English.
Does it make a difference if you speak language x with your child and y with your spouse in terms of what the child picks up first?** I'm sure what you use when you speak to the child is what s/he picks up first, but I also think s/he will learn a lot of the other language as well.
**
Re: Language
shinoo: the language you speak to teh child in is the language they will pick up first cuz you are speaking to them clearly, one word at a time..actually teaching them word by word.. when you speak to each other as spouses.. you speak fast, and at times are not so clear in your word pronounciation...
a great example will be this....
we were grocery shopping... i was saying out items one by one .. over and over again, that we had to get... now it was all in danish
teh son repeated after me every single time i said something... and i wasnt even talking to him. its cuz my lingual pace was slow, was saying one word at a time .. so he picked it up really fast.
sure he has picked up english words too.. single words i have said out in desperation or when tired.. like.. im tired... or .. shut up (im not proud of that), etc..
get my flow?
i wanted to say a few danish words to him too.. i dont kwno why... just cuz im desi and i want to give him a headstart :D but then i slapped myself and said no... only urdu... danish he can learn very easily once he starts kindergarden.
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Thanks for the input ladies :-)
Khawa, makes perfect sense. I shall continue to only speak to her in urdu and hope she picks it up :D
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I'm planning to speak in Urdu to the Bean iA, but hubby and I speak English between us as he doesn't know Urdu, so I'm sure it'll end up being a mix of Urdu and English in the end. I know my parents and family will speak to the baby in Urdu as well, but I'm not sure if hubby is planning to communicate in Hungarian. I'm selfish enough to not want that on one level because I'll have no idea whats being said! hahaha :p But seriously, you gotta understand, Hungarian is like Alien. It makes no sense at all to me as a language whereas hubby has picked up quite a bit of Urdu because its so much simpler relatively speaking. I'm sure my inlaws will speak some words to the baby in Hungarian though.
Re: Language
We speak to our son in both english and urdu. He is 2 now and understands both languages.
He speaks some words in English and mostly urdu because his grand parents speak to him in urdu too so most of the time he is hearing urdu.
We used to speak urdu at my home but my parents speak different regional languages with their family and I understand both those languages as well. I cannot speak those regional languages because I tend to mix the languages while speaking and have a very wrong accent but I can comprehend.
If you stop speaking to your daughter in urdu, later she may forget the language.
My niece had a bengali care taker and she picked up bengali but she forgot the language afterwrds when the care taker had left and no one was speaking bengali to her.
So if you want her to learn urdu keep using the language.
I feel sad to see desi families in US where the kids can hardly speak urdu. It is not going to stop them from learning english so why not teach them urdu too.
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What language did/do you speak with your child? - Bahasa Malaysia and my husband use Cantonese when talking to my son
What language do you speak with your significant other? Mixed - Bahasa Malaysia & English
Does it make a difference if you speak language x with your child and y with your spouse in terms of what the child picks up first? No. He pick up English first - because at school (preschool) they speak English for 8 hrs. He talk to me some in Bahasa, sometime in English.
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I speak urdu with her and my husband speaks to her in english (sadly he doesn't know any urdu) but i am planning on teaching both of the girls punjabi too once the urdu is somewhat polished insh'Allah
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I was talking with darling on the same topic few days ago and she was saying the kids must learn our culture & language first which is Pakistani & Urdu respectively. Rest comes later.
As i was born in NY, but still my dad/mom always talked with me & siblings in Punjabi & Urdu. I can't able to recall any episode when dad even said a full line of English while talking to me in my 25+ years on planet earth. He always said you can learn other languages in your spare time but the cultural & mother tongue is the most important part of any child, it becomes the child foundation.
Secondly, Desi parents should make up their mind where they are eventually going to live it's west or back home. More then 90% of our community & their kids are in this limbo for rest of their life's they are like "na idher k na udher kay" classic example of abcd's !
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^ More than 90%!! Jeez, what desis do you hang out with? 
The people I know who’ve been here all their lives identify themselves as Pakistani-Canadians which I find is a nice healthy balance of culture and social freedoms. If you speak to them, they always say they’re Pakistani but at the same time they appreciate the benefits of living in a Canadian society and are proud to call this country their home.
What I’ve found, in fact, is that more Pakistanis could stand to show solidarity with being Canadian especially when they’re here enjoying the benefits of a Canadian citizenship. It really irks me when they live here on one hand, and entirely by choice, and then diss the Canadian goras on the other hand for not having a cultural identity. 
Sorry, I know I’m going off topic here so I’ll stop that train of thought.
I find cultural confusion- and then “na idher kay na udhar” issue- arises when parents themselves are confused about where they belong. I know families who’ve pushed their kids entirely into the Canadian sphere and abandond their Pakistani identities, and I find that pretty lame. You are who you are- you can’t deny your cultural heritage no matter how hard you try. Ultimately, your skin will always be brown and if your birthplace was Pakistan, well that ain’t gonna change!