lahasil

peirvee kee gerdish meye
asoloon kee pa ker hararet
serd lems keye sektjaan honeye seye
weket kem nahi perta

zubaan kee tarefdari seye
kamoshee kee himayet meye
kavishoon ka seena kaee pur-umeed
unginet afkar seye nahi bherta

lehjoon kee rukavatoon keye nishan
goya chund suragh lagateye chateye hein
jeiseye chund jawaboon kee wasoolee per
paidaar rishta heye bentaa

yeye hisaab kerneye meye
tefreeh jamaa kerneye seye
rooh keye bark-o-sahjre ayan ho so
dil aik wadee-e-weran heye somota

phir seye azmaneye per
yoon hee seye chowth khaneye per
dil renj amez heye tow, mager
lahasil heye kabool hota

Re: lahasil

nice poem dushwari...but try to write words clearer...otherwise....at some points u lack the balance.....but overall impact is good

Re: lahasil

great critique. i value this, abeeha.

Re: lahasil

thanx for sharin