Ladies, when you were about to get married...

Lifestyle Relationships
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A few days before or weeks before the wedding…did you mum/dad ever give you a talk about what to do with your husband?

Any sort of advice or words of encouragement, anything of what to expect? How was the talk, awkward or thought provoking?

Also when you were younger, did your parents give the ‘sex’ talk?

Just generally interested!! :slight_smile:

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Ladies, when you were about to get married...

I got my sex talk from mom when I was in grade 4 so didn't really needed it afterwards but got it from my chachu before my nikah

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Re: Ladies, when you were about to get married...

Coffeegirl, I thought you were going to concentrate on your education and career for now and help liberate yourself and sisters from your dad's sleazy ways but what's this soliciting sex-ed advice nonsense!?

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Re: Ladies, when you were about to get married...

I am but was just wondering generally!! :p

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Re: Ladies, when you were about to get married…

A talk from my dad on what to do with my husband? :hayaa:

Yeah exactly what I needed.

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Re: Ladies, when you were about to get married...

Awkward much!?

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Re: Ladies, when you were about to get married…

Not a peep from anyone until the night before my rukhsati when my mum was tucking me in bed cus I had mehndi all over my hands, and she decided to have ‘the talk’… ooooohhhhh the embarrassment - I wanted to hide under my covers but couldn’t raise the blanket due to the mehndi situation so had to sit there and listen ahhhh :sid:

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Awkward much!?
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Not really better him than my mom that would have been awkward

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Re: Ladies, when you were about to get married…

Whaaaaatttt??? :what:

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Re: Ladies, when you were about to get married…

Okey let me explain before this get turn into something…

grade 4 talk because back home when kids are in grade 4 we get a classes in sex. how babies are born, how they are made, about why girls get periode etc etc. so mom had take the islamic talk with me

my chachu is like 10 years older than me he is more like my bestfriend a kind of a big brother to me. Hope thats make sence now.

beside in my family sex isnt a tabu we talk about it openly

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Re: Ladies, when you were about to get married...

I think its cool as far as ur comfortable talking to that person about it ! ^

and um considersing todays scenerio there just a few or i guess no one who knows nothing about sex all thanks to media !

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Ladies, when you were about to get married...

It's kind of come up here and there when I was getting older and in highschool. Didn't need it after that, but my mom had to give herself peace of mind by getting one of my Married cousins to mention the proper way of getting pakh after it, during the week of. I was also given the same task when my cousin got married. Even tho we are close and the same age it was still awkward

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Re: Ladies, when you were about to get married...

My parents never, ever gave me the 'talk' before marriage. Thank God for that. I would have lost some respect for them , if they had.
We had ' sex ed' in school but at the same time we had some wise elders in our community who also gave us the "Islamic talk ' too. It was done by age group. Nothing at all like, you do 'xyz,and the wrath of God will be upon you". :)

With my own daughters who are in their early 20's etc and younger. I have said 'It only takes one time to get pregnant, so birth control is something you will not leave up to your hubby". Now, my daughters friends also ask me for advice, and I keep it clean, practical and halal! i will not and never have divulged an iota of my personal, intimate life with DH to anyone on this planet..

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Re: Ladies, when you were about to get married...

Thanks for the replies, is anyone brave enough to mention what was actually to them during the talk? and how they responded etc etct

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Going thru your two threads about weddings , have u decided to get married to your cousin/relative?

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Re: Ladies, when you were about to get married...

This is slightly OT, but other Moms out there should take heed.

I forgot to mention in my above post.. My younger teenage daughter had a very thorough 'sex ed' class recently in her public school. I feel , if they did not know anything before the class, they knew too much AFTER the class. As a parent I viewed the tape beforehand and chose whether I wanted her to view it with her class or not.

I opted for her not to view it, as did other parents, many who were white American and Hispanic.

At the same time, our local masjids , through the ladies DARS/ICNA Sisters goups etc, held special Islamic classes for teenage girls , ranging in ages 13 to 19. Eventually that was broken into separate age groups too.

Someone very knowledgeable and who had a great rapport with the girls held the class. It was very well done. The Moms were in an another area, We were not allowed to sit with the girls. The topics were very much according to what they needed to know. Girls who were 17 and older were put in a separate class, as they had very explicit questions.

Many girls said, ' We cannot ask our Moms these things, they are not comfortable speaking about anything. If we ask, our parents will pull us out of school, or assume the worst".

Questions asked : Birth control, fen hygiene, haram to use razor, masturbation, the opposite sex (yes, lots of hijab wearing, teenage girls wanted to know about this). :)

The girls were not put down at all for asking about their bodies, their feelings, their confusion.

You can imagine how some of the Moms in the other area were having heart failure, and saying 'Besharaam, Haraam, Taubah, Taubah", yet it was their own children asking the questions.

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Re: Ladies, when you were about to get married...

Nope I haven't :) I am going to update my other thread in a minute so maybe worth reading :)