Ladies Need some advice

[Reha]

@mistral

Is there something else going on that you don’t know about? Because there are only two things I can think of:

1. Besides the whole stressful rishta process, perhaps she’s experienced something else…some type of emotional trauma that is doing a number on her outlook on life and her self confidence. If that is the case, then you can only be there for her…support her, listen to her, occasionally force her out of the house for some fun and distraction, and encourage her to open up to you. Ultimately, whether or not she decides to get help for whatever problem she might have is totally up to her.

2. After years of the crazy and oftentimes demoralizing rishta process, it’s just REALLY getting to her. For women who get married later in life (and by later, I mean the desi definition of later which is late 20s, early 30s), years and years of the rishta process and unfortunately, rejection, can badly impact your self esteem. Years of “oh your daughter isn’t fair enough, or educated enough or slim enough, or this enough, blah blah blah blah” would make even a supermodel with a degree in astrophysics doubt her self worth. Heck, some people don’t even bother calling back much less provide a really low-class excuse.

I’ve seen it happen to a lot of girls, including me. It is not at all unusual. The suggestions I would offer you are pretty much the same as #1 above. Be there for her. And encourage her to keep an open mind and continue meeting with potential rishtas…it won’t be easy of course. There will probably be more rejections on both sides. But Inshallah, whoever Allah has in mind for her WILL come. But only at that exact moment that Allah has decreed. No earlier, no later. That’s how it worked for me (and a lot of other girls), and I couldn’t be happier.

Good luck to you and your friend.

You’re a great friend chicagoin.

I totally agree with mistral here.

Either something has happened that you dont know about or this whole process is catching up to her and taking a toll on her health.

I would continue to try and bring her out of her shell. If she doesnt want to go to a party, bring the party to her sometimes. Sooner or later, she will come back but it will take work from your part as her friend. Dont let her go.

Maybe a counselor can meet her in a more casual manner? Do you think its possible for someone to see her in a non-office type setting so she feels comfortable talking?

Do you know of any eligible men you could introduce her to? Also, sometimes the rishta process is easier for some and not so easy for some. I barely ever got upset if someone didnt call back. Some people though, really take it to heart. Maybe her mom can try to make sure there is interest before bringing these guys home?