some of you may already know what glorious in laws i have (sarcasm) and the lack of involvement they have with me and my daughter, and husband aswell.
recently i made a massive effort to get to know my SIL better. she has a daughter the same age as mine so i thought yeah this will be a good ground to start maybe a friendship with her. i called her every few days to organise outings and playgroups for the girls and also picked her up, dropped her off, even helped her clean her house on numerous occasions when i was there. i feed her daughter change her nappy etc, just to help her out. i thought yeah maybe i have finally found a friend in her.
anyway, about 2 weeks ago i have not been feeling well and so havent made any phone calls, and surprise surprise she hasnt even called me. i started to realise that it was actually me who was calling her and making arrangements to go out and it wasnt actually her who bothered to call me at all.
now that i havent made an effort, i havent even had one phone call from her.
i mentioned it to my hubby the other day and he said ‘shes still part of his family and they all share the same view about you and our relationship’ (we had a love marriage). i was pretty disappointed as i made an effort thinking we can build a friendship and she was always polite to me so i cant understand why she is being like this.
is my hubby right? or was i wrong to even bother in the first place.
i always tested my MIL, made an effort and got pushed back so now i dont bother with them at all and feel alot more happier. Im just surprised that my SIL has the same thoughts aswell.
i always tested my MIL, made an effort and got pushed back so now i dont bother with them at all and feel alot more happier. Im just surprised that my SIL has the same thoughts aswell.
Good to know that you realize what need to be done here. Start a new thread please on some new juicy In Laws topic.
You shouldn't be surprised. The SIL will almost always have the same opinion as her mother....especially if it has to do with her brother's choice against his parents' wishes.
Red, sorry to know your efforts going futile. Masha Allah you have a daughter now why dont you keep yourself busy with her and acknowledge the fact that fine your inlaws may never like you. Its sad to see how people behave mean. Your inlaws’ priority should be their son (your hubby’s) prosperous and peaceful married life. If you have proved a good companion, wife and mother that should be all. Greater of you you keep trying to be nice to your inlaws inspite of their discouragement. See make it sure you your hubby is happy with you. That should be sufficient to satisfy you. If your inlaws are happy leaving you alone you do the same and chill. they meet, you meet, be nice. Thats it. Dont waste your self away after them anymore.
Red Ruby, i think all that can be said is as a mother if someone doesn't care for your child why should you even pay any attention to them. I don't know the history of your case. But i assume the family objects to the fact you had a love marriage. Well they need to get iver it and move on but alas this is desis we are talking about. So i think if you see them say hi bye give pyaar to the kids but aside from that...don't bother. ITs a shame that they don't realise that as your daughter gets older she will herself realise who cares for her family and who doesnt.
some of you may already know what glorious in laws i have (sarcasm) and the lack of involvement they have with me and my daughter, and husband aswell.
recently i made a massive effort to get to know my SIL better. she has a daughter the same age as mine so i thought yeah this will be a good ground to start maybe a friendship with her. i called her every few days to organise outings and playgroups for the girls and also picked her up, dropped her off, even helped her clean her house on numerous occasions when i was there. i feed her daughter change her nappy etc, just to help her out. i thought yeah maybe i have finally found a friend in her.
anyway, about 2 weeks ago i have not been feeling well and so havent made any phone calls, and surprise surprise she hasnt even called me. i started to realise that it was actually me who was calling her and making arrangements to go out and it wasnt actually her who bothered to call me at all.
now that i havent made an effort, i havent even had one phone call from her.
i mentioned it to my hubby the other day and he said 'shes still part of his family and they all share the same view about you and our relationship' (we had a love marriage). i was pretty disappointed as i made an effort thinking we can build a friendship and she was always polite to me so i cant understand why she is being like this.
is my hubby right? or was i wrong to even bother in the first place.
Well I don't know anything about your SIL. I myself am the type who will thinking of calling someone, then procrastinate in it indefinitely. I've been meaning to call my in-laws for the past two weeks, but it kept getting pre-empted by something else. I've also procrastinated calling my bro for a couple of months now. My problem is that when I remember, I'm usually not in a position to do it. When I am in a position to do it, it keeps slipping my mind. Do you think it could be the same thing?
You shouldn't be surprised. The SIL will almost always have the same opinion as her mother....especially if it has to do with her brother's choice against his parents' wishes.
yeah ur right there, i just tried to see the good side of her rather than acept that shes still going to be thinking like the rest of them
the funny thing is my hubby is always tellin me about them and says dont make an effort with them so i dont, but he encouraged me to spend time with his sis as she has a daughter and maybe we can find similar interests, but that also backfired.
the funny thing is my hubby is always tellin me about them and says dont make an effort with them so i dont, but he encouraged me to spend time with his sis as she has a daughter and maybe we can find similar interests, but that also backfired.
think i'll stick with my own company from now on
the sooner the better. You have all rights to have your self esteem and honour intact as an individual human being. Lol never trust the words of a husband. He may love and care for you the best in the world still his family is his family. That would be cruel and insensitive to expect him to abandon his family for you and bad mouth them. Respect the mutual relations of your husband and his family. You are not bound to kill your own self esteem and extend warmth to the unrewarding people. Its a blessing your husband doesnt push you into it all. Be happy and enjoy your married life. least bother the people who dont care for you )
some of you may already know what glorious in laws i have (sarcasm) and the lack of involvement they have with me and my daughter, and husband aswell.
recently i made a massive effort to get to know my SIL better. she has a daughter the same age as mine so i thought yeah this will be a good ground to start maybe a friendship with her. i called her every few days to organise outings and playgroups for the girls and also picked her up, dropped her off, even helped her clean her house on numerous occasions when i was there. i feed her daughter change her nappy etc, just to help her out. i thought yeah maybe i have finally found a friend in her.
anyway, about 2 weeks ago i have not been feeling well and so havent made any phone calls, and surprise surprise she hasnt even called me. i started to realise that it was actually me who was calling her and making arrangements to go out and it wasnt actually her who bothered to call me at all.
now that i havent made an effort, i havent even had one phone call from her.
i mentioned it to my hubby the other day and he said 'shes still part of his family and they all share the same view about you and our relationship' (we had a love marriage). i was pretty disappointed as i made an effort thinking we can build a friendship and she was always polite to me so i cant understand why she is being like this.
is my hubby right? or was i wrong to even bother in the first place.
well my advice is just be nice and polite to them but no use to go an extra mile to win their love or friendship...u will end up being hurt and even more frustrated..but yes be nice and very polite to them when ever u meet them or talk to them on fone...
I realize that it is inherent to your nick by why?
Why do you insist on mirch laga'ing?
Since you already know then why ask the question and add to your carbon foot print by using your computer , key board and wasting your calories on a redundant question. :p
