milnai walai bechar jatai hain kuin
khuwab jo bunai bekhar jatai hain kuin
baha laijati hain lehrain jinhain
tu asai gharonde banatai hain kuin
woh jin par maan hota hai humain
phir wohi aksar rulate hain kuin
jaljatai hain parwanai jo har dafa
dubara shama ke pass atai hai kuin
milnai walai bechar jatai hain kuin
kuwab jo bunai bekhar jatai hain kuin?
by umeed
bahut khoob!
bohat khoob :)
Wah..
Very nice :k: Keep it up. 
thx Sehar and others who give comments and encourage me and others,u guys r really great:k:
Re: kuin?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by umeed24: *
milnai walai bechar jatai hain kuin
khuwab jo bunai bekhar jatai hain kuin
baha laijati hain lehrain jinhain
tu asai gharonde banatai hain kuin
woh jin par maan hota hai humain
phir wohi aksar rulate hain kuin
jaljatai hain jugnu jo har dafa
dubara shama ke pass atai hai kuin
milnai walai bechar jatai hain kuin
khuwab jo bunai bekhar jatai hain kuin?
by umeed
[/QUOTE]
khoobsorat
jaljatai hain jugnu jo har dafa
dubara shama ke pass atai hai kuin
is pe hum ek hi baat kahin ge ke keh
" mags ku baagh mai janey na deejiyo
ke na haq parwaaney ka khoon huga"....
Re: kuin?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by umeed24: *
jaljatai hain jugnu jo har dafa
dubara shama ke pass atai hai kuin
by umeed
[/QUOTE]
Nice Poem Umeed. but I think there is something wrong with this verse.
Those stupid things that go to Shama are PARWANAY not JUGNOO
and then the second thing is that.
Jab Aik Baar Parwana Jal Jata Hai to phir wo kabhi shama ke pass nahiN jata. Wo Bechara to mar jata hai.
I hope you dont mind my criticism.
Nice try anyway
Keep it comming
Re: Re: kuin?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Black Mamba: *
Nice Poem Umeed. but I think there is something wrong with this verse.
Those stupid things that go to Shama are PARWANAY not JUGNOO
and then the second thing is that.
Jab Aik Baar Parwana Jal Jata Hai to phir wo kabhi shama ke pass nahiN jata. Wo Bechara to mar jata hai.
I hope you dont mind my criticism.
Nice try anyway
Keep it comming
[/QUOTE]
well thx for ur correction.aur maine yahan usi parwanai ke barai main nahi kaha jo marjata hai bulke un baqi parwano ke barai main kaha hai jo marne walai parwane ko dekh ker bhee shama ke pass jatai hain.now u get my point Black mamba?
buhet khoob
Nice try umeed24 :k:…keep it up.
Re: Re: Re: kuin?
[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by umeed24: *
well thx for ur correction.aur maine yahan usi parwanai ke barai main nahi kaha jo marjata hai bulke un baqi parwano ke barai main kaha hai jo marne walai parwane ko dekh ker bhee shama ke pass jatai hain.now u get my point Black mamba?
[/QUOTE]
well sorry if I missunderstood, but I think it does sounds like that.
Anyway I am not that good a poetry anyway. So dont listen to me
:) bahut khoob