Know Thy Etiquette!

Lifestyle Parenting, Household Affairs and Cuisine corner
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Its not only the hosts that have wierd habits , so do the GUESTS :emmy:

Example : :snooty:

  • Why do they waste food? :no: I hate it when i spend like a whole day in the kitchen and the guests come and waste some of the food away in plates ..

  • Why the hell would you let kids have a full portion of a certain dish , when you know they wont eat :naraz: … can you not care to just cut a smaller peice of the serving!

  • ohhhh and yeah , either feed the kids first or after the adults , Please make sure your kids dont take over the table with no spaces left for adults to be seated !

  • and yeah I noticed that you wiped your freaking nose with my napkin .. did you not notice the paper towels rolled in your glass? :emmy:

  • ohh , and khuda kay liye , dont , DONT put that freaking nosey wala tissue paper in the plate after you are done eating :smack:

What to do , some guests are just too much to bear :no:

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They let their kids put a whole piece of dark chocolate cake and the kid only eats a bite of it...

They let kids into the kitchen while they are trying to catch each other...

Mothers can't be bothered to put the food into the kids plate or are too busy having a grand time so the kid uses both hands to pick up a seekh kebab in each...

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Re: Know Thy Etiquette!

Exactluy automne , I seriously dread having families over that have kids :no: .. its not really the kids fault , mainly the freaking ignorant mothers … but tell me , is there any polite way to warn the mother to control her kids and not let them waste food ? :konfused:

What I have started doing is , I cut everything in really tiny portions .. example cake , I probably cut it into 14 pieces of only two inches long !!! and every time i serve mithai , I make sure i cut the gulab jamuns into half , so even if the kids pick one , its just a small piece !

I do the same with the kababs sometimes ! Is it rude?
There is this particular family where the mother is just beyond my patience … last time she came , i didnt throw the food from the kids plates , I packed it all and when they were leaving i told her , she can take the packed dabba away as i cant be bothered to waste al lthat food … that was rude wasnt it :hmmm:

But is there any polite way of telling them this before hand?

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Re: Know Thy Etiquette!

haha CB..those are your bones speaking right? :hehe:

I agree..I hate food seen wasted.. Isn’t that basic common sense, you take small portions at a time..simple.

hmm I am not too happy with guests making too many request..like I had this someone over and she asked for ten items one at a time just to mash one friggin’ banana :mad:

Using too many glasses…can’t you just use your own glass for a second drink? why a new glass for each drink..I don’t have a maid to wash afterwards and I don’t have a gazillion glasses :grumpy:

I don’t mind this as much but I really appreciate if guests clear their dishes of bones etc..

That’s all for the mo :snooty:

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Re: Know Thy Etiquette!

yes Masi , those are actually my bones and muscles speaking :cb: … I am still down since THAT freaking day :no:

Khair about the glasses , I guess its ok to announce before hand that they should look after their glasses .. I do that , dunno if it will be deemed rude .. but really i dont have double the crockery , so if i am serving alot of people I just rewash the plates/spoons and glasses … therefore I make it a point to let them know "please look after your glasses for refills " …

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Re: Know Thy Etiquette!

I have a question ladies , do you make separate seating arrangements for guest kids at food time? or do they all sit at the same table along with the adults ? or do you serve them separately afterwards?

Whats the best way to handle a tonn of kids ?

Pakistan Super League, 7th Match: Quetta Gladiators v Peshawar Zalmi
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Re: Know Thy Etiquette!

tell moms to feed the kids first.. get them out of the way.. and then serve the adults

moms actually love this idea cuz then they can eat in peace too..

but am i the only one finding it really odd at how u guys are talkin bout wasting food at a dawat? ive never thought bout it.. :o ofcourse u should only take out as much as u can eat.. but sometimes.. u DO take out knowing u will eat it all but in a social gathering .. u talk so much and get caught up in convos.. that u lose ure appetite.. and food gets left behind..

i hope u dont take this the wrong way.. but you would understand better if u were a parent.. i am myself.. i was the oh this must be clean oh taht must be clean and no dirty hands here kinda person myself.. but its impossible with children.. it really is.

i think the kids first idea will suit u better.

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Re: Know Thy Etiquette!

In our family we serve the kids first - yes food is wasted because some mums over pander to their kids needs and assume that their kid will be able to eat everything she puts on his place but that just isn't the case. I too hate it when food is wasted, but what can you say to someone who insist on filling her kids plate when you know yourself that they won't eat it. I guess the best thing would be to just say 'eat this piece first and then when you want more you can have another piece'? Would that be rude?

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Re: Know Thy Etiquette!

omg about the food being wasted that is so annoying!! frankly i noticed a lot of girls doing this, and i think they purposely put too much food in their plate just so they can have some left to throw away and therefore look like light eaters!! i mean really how can you not know how much appetite you have...and when it doubt put less!

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Re: Know Thy Etiquette!

No nose blowing at the table when people are sitting around eating. Also, people who don't wipe their noses and keep on making that nose-slurping sound.

Trying to Conceive (The highs and lows)
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CB,

I like your idea of feeding kids even before asking the guys to come and have their food. I usually have segregated dinners.... so the guys go first then the ladies and the kids and for the kids I make them sit on the floor ...yes you read it right.... we get these plastic sheets on a roll that can be pulled apart ... I put two of thme and make all the kids sit on them and eat in peace....

at dinner parties mothers can't be bothered to take care of their kids so guess what I am not having them sit on my sofas with plates in their hands...

Another thing I do ... is get plastic dinner plates, dessert plates, and glasses.. I don't care if it is rude but families with kids have this coz my dinnerware isn't enough and I really don't want heavy plates in kids' hands....plus all I have to do is throw stuff away without being grossed out about picking bones or clearing off plates...and a single person can use 3 glasses if they want...less washing afterwards....

I think next time I am gonna do that as well give the food to the person who has left it in their plate but prob is that I am so busy running around that i don't know who has left what....

Did you guys ever notice how kids get hyper after having desserts.....or soft drinks....

Pakistan Super League, 12th Match: Karachi Kings v Lahore Qalandars at Sharjah, Feb 1
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Re: Know Thy Etiquette!

Khawa, yes I do understand , its impossible to save every bit of food from wastage , but its really nasty to let huge chunks of peices go to the bin … I have stopped inviting families that waste food .. usually i just order pizza’s for them and their freaking kids , there is no point putting in the effort to make food and tire myself , when i know the lady or the family dont bother looking after the food …

My mother used to feed us through her plate , when we were kids .. she would let us eat all we wanted and then would eat the left over stuff instead of getting the new food in her plate … I thought it was a fantastic idea ..

**Automne , **mate you aint the only one :cb: … even my mom used to do the plastic sheet thing for kids , where they would all get seated and eat peacefully. I so want to do that too … Just that some women guests are very pathetic in manners and just start making freaking faces , Its happened a few times , kids run and take all the seats and the adults are left to take their food and sit on the sofa’s :no:

But yeah , i guess i will have to be stern … :hmmm:

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I don't think it's rude to say that. In fact I DO say that to kids when serving up, don't care what their parents think about it. Seen too many kids served up too much food by their parents, only for it all to be thrown away.

If the food is finished, u can follow it up and say "good boy / good girl!" you finished it. If they want more then give them more.

CB, good for you for packing those kids food, that should send a message to the mum.

Pakistan Super League, 3rd Qualifying Final: Islamabad United v Peshawar Zalmi at Dub
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Re: Know Thy Etiquette!

I was at a dinner party a few weeks ago and this mother kept feeding and feeding and feeding her 1 year old kid - chawal, pasta, salin, etc. The woman also kept eating and eating like she never ate in her life before. About an hour later, the kid barfed like you wouldn't believe, it wouldn't stop coming out. It was like a non-stop stream of thick stinky barf. (Unfortunately, I happened to be walking by - and then bolted out of the dining room - thank God for two entrances) It was so nasty, especially because the mother used the dinner plate to catch the barf. GROSS!!!

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Re: Know Thy Etiquette!

A few years ago this mother followed her 3 year old all over our house feeding Biryani. Needless to say there was a trail of rice all over the house. What a moron woman. We decided to cut off all ties with that couple.

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Re: Know Thy Etiquette!

i saw this one gal at a dinner one time-- she had a son 1-2 yrs old. she was feeding him cucumber. before she fed him the cucumber disks, she took off the peel by eating the peel all around and then stuffing it into his mouth. she also took the liberty to put her hands in the salad bowl to take out the cucumber slices first!

Mustafa kamal announce new party
Mustafa kamal announce new party
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:eek: first i thought it was at ur place but the i re-read it n my oh my thats bad, i see that quite often too, its like they starve the whole family for a day or 2 bfre going to a dawat :nono: very very bad

cb- u cud do the plastic sheet thing n actually put portions of food on the plates urself that way they finish u can gve more n if nt at least its nt a huge amount going to waste

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Re: Know Thy Etiquette!

I agree with khawa, feed the kids first, then any food that the kids don't finish, the parents should. I don't think it was wrong for you to put the leftover food in a container and hand them over to the mom when she was leaving, hopefully she'll remember to give them less next time.

Is Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy’s Oscar win exploiting social ills for personal gains?
Is Sharmeen Obaid-Chinoy’s Oscar win exploiting social ills for personal gains?
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Re: Know Thy Etiquette!

CB- this is a great thread!

GREAT idea about putting the leftover food in a container and giving it to the mom before she leaves… i absolutely hate wasting food and hopefully it will give the mom a hint in the future. I am going to start doing this…

I havn’t had too many huge dawats where a lot of kids come because I live in an apartment.. but when the time comes - I’ll probably be doing what my mom does.

She tells the moms to feed the kids first … in the kitchen area. Clean up is easier if a drink spills or food is dropped. She herself has a chota bacha so does the same…this makes the moms feel at ease that they are not being singled out. My mom says that before she had kids, she would just hang out in the kitchen area with the moms, and other women that didnt have children would automatically do it too. So the mom’s didn’t feel left out or alone by having to feed the kiddos in the kitchen.

My mom always make sure that there are some “kid friendly” food at dawats. It helps that my youngest bro is 10 years old. Tator tots, fries (chips), chicken nuggets, mini pizza bagels, a separate little kid friendly salad, etc. Moms are usually so thankful … its easier to feed kids that stuff as opposed to saalin and chawal. Plus kids are more likely to eat it (with less of a mess).

After kids eat - my mom puts on a kids movie for them. The now full kids are more than happy to just sit there… and this allows the moms to eat in peace.

My younger bro is like the kid patrol. :cb: . He makes sure that kids dont have drinks in their hands and go into other parts of the house (they can only drink in the kitchen). He makes sure that they are not running around. He keeps them occupied. mA a very samajdaar bacha…he has only helped make my mom’s life a million times easy.

So it has now become easy to control the kids… but the adults are another issue :naraz:

Other than cutting food into smaller pieces (another great idea!), are there any other suggestions to combat wastefulness???

And what about goray people… i hate when I see invited goray friends dump whole plates of food into the trash :bummer: I think they put alot on their plate because they dont want to seem rude…but then can’t eat it later on? Plus its no big deal for them…

And ewe …whats up with guests putting their dish in the sink (or near the sink) with the dirty napkin and bones still on the plate!!! Why cant they walk the two extra steps and just throw the stuff in the trash???

I also hate it when people just leave their dirty dishes and cups all over the place. They can’t even bring it into the kitchen. So annoying .

When I make desserts… like trifles or mouse, etc. I dont make it one huge dish. I make them in little individual dessert dishes. Its a bit more of a hassle but better than people taking the dessert spoon and scooping up a huge blob and putting it on their plate and then not even eating all of it. It makes it less likely for them to get up for seconds too …

Cutting up pies and cakes into smaller slices before hand is helpful too.

Is it right?
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Re: Know Thy Etiquette!

very helpful tips there , punjabirose , thanks so much mate :hugz:

I like the idea of putting desserts in smaller serving bowls .. :hmmm:

Food processor for shami kababs