Re: Kindness & Generosity in Relationships
^I don't have to. I am not his partner
I don't think queer wants you to be nice to him.
Re: Kindness & Generosity in Relationships
Communication preferably not done in italicized bright blue font.
Re: Kindness & Generosity in Relationships
Would it also work with your relationship with in-laws?
Re: Kindness & Generosity in Relationships
Especially with in laws. In laws hate italicized bold dark blue font. This has been documented.
Re: Kindness & Generosity in Relationships
Does respect count in every relationship?
Re: Kindness & Generosity in Relationships
Would it also work with your relationship with in-laws?
Yes. I think any relationship that requires a long term commitment.
Re: Kindness & Generosity in Relationships
Does respect count in every relationship?
Depends. Do you want a relationship. Or do you want a GOOD relationship. If you want a GOOD relationship, then it needs to be based in mutual respect. There are plenty of long-lasting, abusive relationships that lack respect.
Re: Kindness & Generosity in Relationships
Communication preferably not done in italicized bright blue font.
bright blue electric italicized font is required when the standard black isnt getting the job done. :P
Re: Kindness & Generosity in Relationships
Depends. Do you want a relationship. Or do you want a GOOD relationship. If you want a GOOD relationship, then it needs to be based in mutual respect. There are plenty of long-lasting, abusive relationships that lack respect.
So whoelse wants to have abusive relation?the relation based on mutual respect has long lasting impact on your future generation,so first thing in any relation is respect, if you dont respect so whatever you can do is meaningless!!
Re: Kindness & Generosity in Relationships
relationships are NOT automatically abusive if they are not good. They can be indifferent, happy, unhappy (you can respect your partner and still be unhappy).
like anything else relationships are a spectrum. an excellent relationship and an abusive relationship are two ends of a spectrum.
besides respect (a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. synonyms:esteem, regard, high opinion, admiration, reverence, deference, honor) is earned and lost over time … neither of which is automatic.
I am not sure what you guys mean by respect, but I hope we are not using it in terms of adab aur ehteraam, because that we have for our teachers or elders also, but that does not mean that we have any special bond with them.
But if respect means giving them importance and sensitive to their needs and wants, then respect definitely is a very key ingredient of a good relationship, although as someone mentioned, respect does not guarantee love which is another essential ingredient
Re: Kindness & Generosity in Relationships
to me respect means not pointing it out every time i am right (and she is wrong :is: ).
which is like errytyme. 
Re: Kindness & Generosity in Relationships
He's not studying "love" -- he's trying to determine what makes successful marriages. It does seem a simplistic, but to be honest, sometimes the problem is that we over-complicate our relationships and interactions. Just because what he describes is simple and obvious doesn't mean it is easy. It requires a daily dedication, a daily commitment that reflects an actual desire to maintain ties and invest in another person. What's said here is the basis for any long-term relationship. I actually found in it a lot that is relevant for developing the parent-child bond today too.
I don't agree with the conclusions he has come up after the study. The study merely shows that if a relationship is stressful its not going to last. This study is typical example of labeling "association" as "cause". He needs to study what led to the stressful signals that were coming from "disaster".
Its pretty natural for people's sympathetic nervous system to hyperacivate when they are asked about a stressful relationship.
Re: Kindness & Generosity in Relationships
I've read several of John Gottman's books actually and found his research pretty useful for not only my marriage but just relationships in general. In particular the concept of 'bids' I found quite useful, because it was only after 5 years into my marriage that I realised that a lot of our issues had to do with me not responding to those daily bids for connection, which I was doing unknowingly.
Re: Kindness & Generosity in Relationships
Always keep that bid - ask spread narrow. Be liquid.