Have you ever had to deal with difficult people and have tried the “killing them with kindness” routine? What do you do when kindness isn’t enough to solve the problem?
There is one lady at my work who is a bitter person.. and she’d constantly have problems with people including me.. I tried the kindness thing out, and it worked temporarily.. but she’d always end up having issues no matter what.. so finally I just started to ignore her. Just to give you an idea of how bad she is, I was supposed to work with her on projects from time to time, but she was so awful to me, that my boss purposely would not give me work associated with her because of how rude she is to me.
Luckily I am on maternity leave now, and trust me she didn’t appreciate the fact that I was getting a year off.. I mean how dare I go have a baby.. but I don’t want to return to an awful work environment.. so any ideas on how to make things better when I go back? I find being angry takes a real toll on me.
I always use the killing with kindness routine, it usually always works. Maybe she just doesnt have a conscience?
I don't see why you have to be angry, shes the one with the problem. Why don't you ask her what her issues are? Theres no real harm in asking as shes mean to you regardless. Sometimes, I think people like this are just afraid of what they don't know, she doesn't know you personally and maybe shes afraid of what she might find out so shes using hostility as a defence mechanism to make herself feel better... maybe?
Hain, your boss knows the lady is rude so all she does to resolve the problem is put you with someone to work with? That doesn't make sense. Do you have a human resource department where you work?
Sometimes with some people nothing helps, not even remaining polite and kind. Some people are so thickheaded. They are not willing to see your character. You can't do much about that. Just ignore the behaviour of that person, remain as polite as you can from your side. Don't let a person like that ruin a job that you like otherwise. I know it's hard. But Good luck. :)
I've found that when I don't get along with someone, what works is to keep the conversation strictly limited to the work at hand - divy up the work as you need to , etc etc.
Keep everything documented in a file - down to what the person says ver batim - they say something offensive - go jott it down in your diary and enter it onto a word document.
When problems crop up or she goes to your boss to snitch on you - you hand your boss a printout of your records.
PCG, it sounds like you've experienced this before. I'd use a nanny cam or a hidden audio recorder. That should be good evidence. :) But generally when I have to deal with difficult personalities i try to keep my sense of humor. I don't let it affect me personally. Huma, I don't understand why you are letting the situation give you an ulcer. Look at your life, you're married, have a new baby. I'll bet you're pretty and nice and a good person. You have a lot going for you and look at the lady. She's bitter, probably single or in a bad relationship (let's just imagine). So just stay confident in yourself and if you feel anything, just feel sorry for her.
As long as you make it clear to your boss that you do not want to work with that woman, then go about your business. You may have awkward run ins with her but keep it professional.
Getting one year off!!! I am getting pi$$ed as well. She is just jealous like me. It is causing more harm to her than you. I have observed such fussy people are those who are really good at their job but because of their absent people management skills, they hit a glass ceiling and thus remain eternally grumpy.