Parents…how do you feel about your children working, like from HS age and on? Do you think it will build their character and confidence in themselves, or overwhelm them at a young age?
Non-parents how was your parents’ attitude towards you working, especially the girls…?
For me, I always wanted to work since I was in HS, but I wasn’t allowed to. Their reasoning was that they were comfortably providing for me and I had no need to work. they viewed working as a necessity and not as something that could give satisfaction or pleasure.
I know other parents who encourage their kids to work b/c they feel it will instill good work habits in them…
i'm scared to death of raising spoiled brats, especially because i know my children will have more luxuries that i could've ever dreamt of when i was that age, so i DEFINITELY will be makin them work. i don't care how much extra cash we've got floating around in the bank, if i've raised a well-disciplined and hard working child, then he/she will most definitely be able to juggle school, sports, sunday school, volunteering, as well as part time work. its not about whether your parents could provide for you or not. its about whether your parents treated you as an intelligent, capable adult who can make good vs bad decisions when out in the real world or if they didn't consider you strong or smart enough to deal with real life situations without their guidance each step of the way. I've noticed that out of my friends, the ones who did go out and start earning at a comparatively younger age have built better character and seem to be more mature than the ones whose parents simply gave them allowances.
There is no concept of working in Pakistan so I have nothing to contribute until I started my college in the US.
My dad didn't let me work during my freshman year saying that I should only concentrate on my education and not worry abourt expenses and that I was too young to be working (i was 16) but in my sophomore year I convinced him that I wanted to work in the lab at university.. he wasn't very happy with it but I worked 5-10 hours a week and paid for eating out with friends.. my dad passed away in my junior year and I HAD to work for my tuition, boarding everything.. I satrted at dollar store, promoted to JCPenney, Sears, and also became the teaching assistant so I had no tuition to pay but overall I started taking care of my expenses at 18 and I will make sure my kids learn to work right after high school so they appreciate going from $6.00/hr to a good annual salary like their mommy did :D
I could babysit in high school. My parents were okay in having us gals working in a "educational" setting like a library, interning for a collegues office etc but only during SUMMER vacation.
My sister pushed the envolope and "waited tables" at a nice resturant and my mom and dad had a cow.
Looking back - I am glad we did. I think it give your kids exposure. It gave us a sense of responsibility, exposure into work life, getting a w2 statement.
If you are not fond of children workin - why not let them volunteer as well. I really prepares them for dealing with people in their adult life
really? ...and now that your adult, what's your say on this matter?
Well, I understand their perspective and motivations... Alhumdulilah they were able to afford everything for me.
However, due to being sheltered so much, I do feel that my work ethic and work attitude isn't where it should be
InshAllah whenever we have children, I would want us to be in a position to be able to afford everything for them but they should still work for it....and realize they cannot just be handed everything.
I've noticed that out of my friends, the ones who did go out and start earning at a comparatively younger age have built better character and seem to be more mature than the ones whose parents simply gave them allowances.
The only main negative that affects my life is that I am too financially independent. I do not take money from anyone. I very rarely let people buy things for me and think that when people do give me money, they think im a charity. I also hate being questioned about how I spend my money. It's mine. I buy what I want.
I think if a kid works, they learn the value of hard work and earning a living and it fpsters a good work ethic. But the flip side, if the kid is not accountable for the money they earn, they may become too independent and not want to answer for where they're spending money and other personal matters - they stop turning to advising in their family/parents. So it's a fine balance.
For me, I always wanted to work since I was in HS, but I wasn't allowed to. Their reasoning was that they were comfortably providing for me and I had no need to work. they viewed working as a necessity and not as something that could give satisfaction or pleasure.
My parents thought along the same line, for girls and guys........my brother also wasn't pushed to work because there was no "need" and they wanted him to focus on his education............volunteering was OK and its something I've been constant with
I didn’t work after HS as I was raised in Pakistan but with my kids, I would definitely want them to work and will not let my husband arayofy his taang in that matter
My first job was at age 12 after I got the girl scouts babysitting badge. I babysat for neighbors. At age 15 got a paper route. At 16, started working in restaurants. My parents made sure all my needs were met but also encouraged working when school permitted. I cant begin to start on the positives of this. Earning your own money to do with as you desire is just and incredible responsibility and an incredibly positive experience. Learning the value of money, learning what to do with it, knowing that you can buy little luxuries for loved ones or for yourself...or banking and saving for something like a car...its just a great learning experience. One which I will encourage my boys to persue.
Parents...how do you feel about your children working, like from HS age and on? Do you think it will build their character and confidence in themselves, or overwhelm them at a young age?
Non-parents :D how was your parents' attitude towards you working, especially the girls....?
For me, I always wanted to work since I was in HS, but I wasn't allowed to. Their reasoning was that they were comfortably providing for me and I had no need to work. they viewed working as a necessity and not as something that could give satisfaction or pleasure.
I know other parents who encourage their kids to work b/c they feel it will instill good work habits in them.....
My parents didn't let us work either. They told me they would rather see me studying. They told me it's not cheating to get a head start on chemistry that I would be taking in the fall, or physics that i would take a year later...and so on. During school time, it was only studying and extracurricular activities that would look great on resumes for colleges. My first job was in college as tutor, and then later as a lab assistant...both were beneficial to my career. Tutoring soldified the basics of my subject, being a lab assistant got me research experience.
And if I didn't need to study (which was never the case), they would rather see me worshipping Allah by praying, memorizing Quran, going to the masjid, studying Arabic, etc, instead of trying to make money for things that I don't need, because greed of things never ends.
I sort of agree with my parents. If Allah blessed you without the need to work for essentials, they why not use that time to worship Allah, or seek knowledge in the sciences or whatever your interest is and get great in your field? Instead of working at some supermarket or resternaut for minimum wage so that you may buy junk? I can understand if there is a need...but otherwise...no. But if it's a job that helps u for a better career then I think that's fine.
ooh my parents wanted me too work cause i used to do nothing excepttt studying and chiling wid the frnds sooo... ya i m workingg nowww :D
cause in evry job u need experience... they didnt wantedd me to work at mall or fast food or anywhere else... but when i got job at bank they were happy... cause i think its a respectable job dats y...
My parents didn't let us work either. They told me they would rather see me studying. They told me it's not cheating to get a head start on chemistry that I would be taking in the fall, or physics that i would take a year later...and so on. During school time, it was only studying and extracurricular activities that would look great on resumes for colleges. My first job was in college as tutor, and then later as a lab assistant...both were beneficial to my career. Tutoring soldified the basics of my subject, being a lab assistant got me research experience.
And if I didn't need to study (which was never the case), they would rather see me worshipping Allah by praying, memorizing Quran, going to the masjid, studying Arabic, etc, instead of trying to make money for things that I don't need, because greed of things never ends.
I sort of agree with my parents. If Allah blessed you without the need to work for essentials, they why not use that time to worship Allah, or seek knowledge in the sciences or whatever your interest is and get great in your field? Instead of working at some supermarket or resternaut for minimum wage so that you may buy junk? I can understand if there is a need...but otherwise...no. But if it's a job that helps u for a better career then I think that's fine.
Gulab jamun...... its not all about earning money to buy junk. It teaches the kids responsibility, that the money their parents earn is through hard work and doesn't grow on trees..... it also shows them what real life is like. There can be rules around the money earned, like 30% goes into a savings account (to teach them how to save) and certain amount goes towards entertainment and clothing and so on.... its a good way to teach budgeting alongwith getting real work experience.
MIAinVA- what is real life? We all live in a "real life" . For some people it's a cush job, many people it's farming, for many it means unemployment, others a housewife, others polishing shoes, mundane jobs. And what's real work? being a cashier, being a student, being a kid, for my mom it was being a housewife, a mom. ... When I was younger, my parents told me my job, my work, is to be a student and nothing else. In school, my attendings tell me, our work, is to be a studnet all our lives. Religious scholars tell me my work/life and jobs is to worship Allah, and seek his mercy.
My point is, real life, and real work, are very vague terms that really mean different things to different people.
To each their own. Good luck trying to dictate where you want your kids to put their money in...lol. the little money I earned in undergrad, I gave my parents the ''it's my money, and I cand do whatever I want" speech all the time! And my parents loved the "buy it with your own money" line :) good memories.
how was your parents’ attitude towards you working, especially the girls…?
