today when I entered the room I had a feeling bro had been watching something undesirable cause of the way he closed the window as soon as I entered.
So I simply went upto him & took the mouse & clicked on the history tab & there it was.
I asked him “ye kya hai” but could not look him in the eyes while asking…he kept quiet & then all I said was " buss ab uth jao " …he left the computer n went…
now I dont know wht to do.
Do I tell my parents? if yes then what exactly do I tell them?
If no then how else should I deal with this.
He is young just 14 yrs old…he should not be watching this kinda stuff. Do I install a parental control software? but will it protect him when i’m not around?
What operating system do you have,? On Vista, it is possible for you to enable a rigorous parental control feature for each username.
It’s really good, you can:
→ Get activity reposts to see what they’ve been geting up to,
→ Set a web filter, choosing different level of restrictions
→ Block individual websites, so maybe you can block youtube for him with this feature.
→ Set a timer on the internet… so you can allow him to use the net for 30 mins a day only… after that, it woud be blocked for him.
I use this feature for my daughters’ usernames… they’re too young to even find such illicit content, but you never know… one accidental click and
My boyz are younger but I think the policy we have can work well even for older kids. No computers in bedrooms. Computers are in the den, out in the open where we can monitor what they're doing. History is enabled and checked. Parents have all passwords.
You dont need to tell your parents about your brothers you-tube adventure. Just tell them about "the sorts of things" that are available with ease to view on the internet so its a good idea to keep an eye on the computer.
**first of all i congratulate u on being bold enuf to confront ur bro and now u give him a break this time...u must talk to him as an older sister and explain to him why its bad and then tell him to stop and u'll be monitoring him and if u find him doing this one more time u'll tell parents and then all hell will break loose on him so smarten up and stop.
LP, you can NOT assume that this kid is doing this coz he is bad or he is gonna get bad...its just curiousity and the urge being a youth. so handle him with love, care and wisdom.
yes, parental control wud suffice to a great extent. here, my internet provider supplies parental control software so we are ok...Saudi MUST ban Youtube. i do NOT get it why Face Book is blocked and Youtube isn't. strange. is it thet the sheikhs need it for themselves. lol**
wat kind of stuff was he watching? was it too mature for him like porns or nude pix or was it something u thought too mature like a kissing or bed scene? wat i would hav done is see if its something we can talk about. coz kids this age do need to satisfy their curiosity n must b guided rightly. most of parents giv no sex education to kids so they end up finding out from other ways. first u need to access ur right moves than might let him hav age appropriate info plus islamic books relating sex issues or ur mom/dad talk to him abt it. yes talk not confront.
rest i do same as mamaof3 said no personal tv/comp in bedrooms. no passwords on their own comps n frequent chking is a must.
Also there will always be chances that they watch such things at a friends/relatives house where rules might b different. so chking out their company n being friends with friend's parents r very imp so u always know wat kind of ppl they r sitting with.
Youtube doesnt have explicit stuff i think,like no naked people, but they have a lot of suggestive stuff. I remember the first time i searched pakistani i got all of these pakistani mujra girl videos lol...anyway yup i did click a few, it was mostly like "what the hell, why is she jumping so much" but maybe someone could've thought i am doing something bad.
a similar situation happened to me of finding someone else's computer stuff...my heart was beating so fast afterwards, idk why i felt really scared and shocked and disgusted all at once...but my sister said not to freak out and she said all guys do this. i was kinda sad to hear that, i guess i was dumb and thought "shareef log" dont do this. but she said, it's their curiosity and stuff. i was so so upset. i felt betrayed and grossed out..like i wanted to wear a tent cuz i didnt want anyone to view me like that.
Well I think limiting the opportunity is good. In our home, we have set all electronic stuff in our common areas. It's not for prevention of perving specifically, but my mom doesnt like k hum saray apne kamron mein gussay rahein. issi bahane you can have the computer moved also. i bet your brother is already sharminda enough and is probably avoiding you so whatever suggestion you make will be approved.
Btw islamic books are not always the best...omg i remember when i was 14 i read a book called "bahishti zewar" and it gave something about ghusl after being with an ANIMAL..omg i felt so sick and dizzy afterwards...it gave me images that i never even imagined!! so be careful! it's an effed up world these days!
Jalebi i felt as i was reading myself… lol . I too once found some that kind of pics in our servant’s room. I went to his room looking for him and didnt found him there too. Saw play cards on his table , just out of curiosity i took one of them. And my God the pic on other side moved the ground under my feet. For a min i was totally numb, could not hear anything, couldnot see anything, my heart was beating so hard, trying jumping into my throat, eyes wide open looking at the image on that card as trying to believe that it was really what i was seeing. Good that i snapped out of it quickly, how i dont know. I quickly turned over few more cards, and all were having same kind of images on them. I put everything back and left the room running. I told my mom later on…
In LP case, the best option would be to move pc to common area like lounge / living room etc.
But what about laptops? nowadays even 13 years old kids have one of those.. do you not buy a laptop for kids until they reach a certain age ? do you start trusting them?
Yeh, YouTube doesn't have anything super mature because of the TOS. Don't tell your parents, he'll hate you for doing that lol. What browser are you using? Just block YouTube, I'm pretty sure you can also set a password for it so you can be able to watch videos when you want to.
Also you said he's 14 so you should be expecting stuff like this.
you know it's weird that guys are so relaxed about this...i still remember that disgusting scene i saw flash on the computer and felt so yuck, like "oh god he's imagining girls like this?? wait, this turns him on??"...like total disgust. it wasnt even a normal scene, it was an old lady being held down by a lot of guys and she looked in pain :(( i wanted to save her like it was real. i called my friend crying, and she was like "why are you crying, everyone watches this, calm down" and i was like "so all this time these people have been making a big deal about women and islam, they've been watching naked girls?" and she was like "yes duh" like it's nothing.
i guess i felt betrayed or something....like i always thought that since i haven't dated any guy, i would like a guy who is the same way. and these desi shareef guys/daily porn watchers fit that category. yet this was like a loophole, they weren't dating, but looking at a million different legs in the air...what was i to think?
for like a week after that, i used to just look at guys and think "he's nice. no, wait, he probably is going to watch some video of a girl getting poo on her face tonight. i hate him". like im not super sheltered...i've totally flipped to the 'reproductive' section of my book in each bio class to see lol...i've read playboy and maxim....but when i was a kid i still think it was better because exposure and availability was controlled. there were a few pages, not millions. and the girls were just naked, nothing truly nasty like children involved.
today it's so much easier for men to get more and more addicted and due to habituation, they require harder and harder material...in fact the internet has changed things so dramatically in one generation, i was watching dr. drew and he said that 20 yrs ago, certain types of behaviors were done only by gay men and considered disgusting by straight ones, but now the majority of straight men desire that same behavior now. and the only factor attributed was the Internet. don't want to write more otherwise you might have to block GS along with youtube :P
but actually you shouldn't block it. it's not that bad. you could block all the sites but then what? it's just kinda futile because at the end of the day, he has to make those choices. all you can do is make it harder for him to make bad ones. btw i hope your bro doesnt avoid u forever...hopefully you guys can normalize soon.
Yeh, YouTube doesn't have anything super mature because of the TOS. Don't tell your parents, he'll hate you for doing that lol. What browser are you using? Just block YouTube, I'm pretty sure you can also set a password for it so you can be able to watch videos when you want to.
Also you said he's 14 so you should be expecting stuff like this.
meri jaan tu abi 14 b nahi hai aur advice dera hai... shabash shabash
