we are planning to move to calgery and my son is not at all happy about it.its been 3 days he is in a bad mood and whenever we are sitting for dinner,his main topic is How can i leave my school,i like it here,i have friends here.we are trying to tell him thats its important for us to move but ALAS!!
so tell me those things that your children did when they first learned they were moving and after the move was complete. Was the move difficult or easy for them?
Or If you moved when you were a child, what difficulties did you have to face during the whole process?
Yes moving out from an established circle of friends is extremely a life changing moment.
However, you can try and help your son - by taking him to the new school for a tour. Take him there - meet the principal, let the principal show him the class he will be in. You VISIT the class WITH him - just stop by to say hello to teacher and kids in that class. When you leave let the kids know you will throw a PIZZA PARTY and have CUPCAKES the day your son joins in the class. They will look forward to this. Your son will also be a little familiar with the new atmosphere in this tour and it will make it a little easier for him.
You can also assure your son that he can keep in touch with his friends by keeping their phone numbers - and calling them whenever he wishes.
my kids love everything about moving from packing to exploring the new place and then unpacking.....i find it very tiring but exciting too.....in last 5 years we have moved for 5 times.....will be movinng again in 2 months inshaAllah as current place is not very convient and we don't have any muslim family here, the homeschooling club is far way and i can't drive and few other little reasons.
Kids always get all gloomy at the thought of moving and leaving their friends behind. Once they are in new neighborhood and new school, they make new friends and pretty soon forget their old pals.
I hated moving when I was growing up. Every 2-3 years my parents moved. Sure it is tough on kids initially but they will make new friends.
Soemtimes as parents you feel guilty but believe me will make them better adults. One of those things that you don't want to do for your kids but HAVE to do.
First month is rough in a new school - they'll hate it because of no friends. Make it easier for them by going to the local mosque. Enroll them in SUnday School. Make friends in the neighborhood that go to the same school etc.
The busier they are they better their adjust.
As a adult, I love the fact that I grew up in different cultures. I can adjust to change very quickly. I loved that I have lived in so many cities in my childhood.
We moved to another state 2 years ago. At that time my older one was about to turn 4. She was very attached to her home, her room and most importantly her grandma and cousins that she grew up with. We had to move due to work.
The worst part was that her dad left town to start work a month before us. During that time, I had to wrap up everything in our home...give away stuff, sell stuff, do home repairs, have realtors come in and out with rental offers etc..., pack, take care of mom in law who was having surgery, plus handle a 4 month old baby! My 4 year old at the time, felt very neglected and negative about everything. She cried for her dad all day and couldn't understand why all this was happening.
So every night when I lay down with her, I would talk to her about how her dad was waiting for us and how everything would be back to normal in a few days. She would fall asleep but mostly in tears.
Finally we moved but it took her a good few months to deal with the changes. She was insecure about being away from her dad ever again and she couldn't understand why her dadi couldn't come live with us. Dadi had to stay back with one of her unmarried daughters that was going to school and worked there.
After a few months, she finally got used to this place and is back to being her own happy self. But really, that has got to be one of the toughest emotional crises I've had to deal with.
I completed my 12th grade from PAF college in Pakistan and that was associated with Federal Board and that in turn means I had to give 10 papers in an year (unlike other boards were there were 5 papers in 9th grade and 5 in 10th).
I studied in the same school/college from Grade 1 to grade 12 and I still remember I used to get mad (shaken etc etc) whenever ammi took my opinion on transferring me to Sindh Board to make it easier for me (5/5 papers). I said I’d rather give 10 papers in one year than change my school and leave my childhood friends (although most of them transfered for to Sindh Board for very same reason)
My parents have brought up moving-to-Calgary thing many, many times. Each time they bring it up, we all create a havoc. Although most of us are older now but something about moving from Toronto to the Prairies just doesn’t do it for us.
It all depends on how old the kids are, for the older lot it is definitely very overwhelming, as they have attachments to school, friends, family, neighborhood, sense of belonging is very comforting and change seems scary! I remember I moved at 12 and hated the thought of the new school and being the ‘new kid’ the ‘outsider’, it helped when my parents tried to get me involved in the move, exploring perspective new homes together, having the choice of my room, getting me excited about how i would ‘do’ up the new room. in this day n age, once could use the internet to find out all the cool things going on in the city/new neighborhood for them to look at.
We moved with our little ones just this yr and its relatively easier on them (tougher for the parents!), it was a big adventure! I just had make it sound way more exciting than it really is It did not take them long to get settled in with their old routine and feel at home, something we all look fwd to at the end of it all. hope yours is a smooth one
