So what is better for raising emotionally stronger kids?
Kids that know harsher realities of life and relationships exist (death, divorce, falling out between family members) or hiding life’s realities and/or family politics to protect them?
As an adult do you appreciate your parents protecting/sheltering from you from the world? Or do you wish you were not raised up so naive?
Re: Kids and Family Politics
My parents didnt really shield us from stuff out there but i wish they hadnt raised us to be too naive. As an adult i often have troubles relating to a certain situation or wondering what the best way to act in a certain situation. I wish i had that skill. Plus i wish my parents had raised us to be more clever.
Re: Kids and Family Politics
I think healthy kids are raised in healthy environments. SO it is important to protect them from stuff that isn't important for them...family politics for one. Example, let's say you have lots of family issues that are discussed in your home, say negatives of your SILs and MILs etc, your kids listen and make impressions about their aunts or grandparents... not nice I think. My feelings for a certain member of my family shouldn't rub off on my kids.
Re: Kids and Family Politics
our parents never explained anything to us but we just learned on our own when we grew up... but I have also noticed that younger generation is a lot more forgiving and not interfering in each other;s matters as opposed to our parents generation.. they would cut ties with each other for years and years but for us cousins, even we rarely talk, we love and respect each other.. whenever we get together, there is a bond that we share.. thanks to the parents, they never told us not to communicate with each other even if they werent talking!! (in my family it was mostly my grand parents who have had issues with another set of grandparents- rest was okay)
am I going to shield my baby from the family politics? TOTALLY!!! Since we live so far away from each other, I feel like I will raise my baby in a bubble and he will probably never know that family politics exists!! advatnages of living away but keeping the ties back home :D
Re: Kids and Family Politics
We just saw and and heard and learned...but it was all when we were I guess in our college years.We were old enough to know and form opinions about relationships and people.
Our parents never said anything about any family members or politics to us.The last few years of my life have made me realize whatever that was,it was actually very benign family politics.It can be worse.
I do wish that my parents had taught us to be a lil more clever.I don't mean that in a bad way,like being manipulative or cunning.But we are told even today,that no matter what happens or who says what, it is always 'koi baat nahin' and that we should never say anything because that will make Allah happy .No doubt,they are right,but IMO there has to be a limit to the crap one can take coming from family members.