TEACHER: Cindy, why are you doing your maths sums on
the floor?
CINDY: You told me to do it without using tables!
TEACHER: John, how do you spell “crocodile”?
JOHN: “K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L”
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
JOHN: Maybe it’s wrong, but you ask me how I spell it!
TEACHER: What is the chemical formula for water?
SARAH: “HIJKLMNO”!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
SARAH: Yesterday you said it’s H to O!
TEACHER: George, go to the map and find North America.
GEORGE: Here it is!
TEACHER: Correct. Now, class, who discovered America?
CLASS: George!
TEACHER: Willy, name one important thing we have today
that we didn’t
have 10 years ago.
WILLY: Me!
TEACHER: Tommy, why do you always get so dirty?
TOMMY: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground then you
are.
SILVIA: Dad, can you write in the dark?
FATHER: I think so. What do you want me to write?
SYLVIA: Your name on this report card.
TEACHER: In this box, I have a 10-foot snake.
SAMMY: You can’t fool me, Teacher… snakes don’t have
feet.
TEACHER: How can you prevent diseases caused by biting
insects?
JOSE: Don’t bite any.
TEACHER: Ellen, give me a sentence starting with “I”.
ELLEN: I is…
TEACHER: No, Ellen. Always say, “I am.”
ELLEN: All right… “I am the ninth letter of the
alphabet.”
MOTHER: Why on earth did you swallow the money I gave
you?
JUNIOR: You said it was my lunch money.
TEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight
oranges in the
other,what would I have?
CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!
TEACHER: Jim, tell me any 4 animals.
JIM: Tiger 1, Tiger 2, Tiger 3, Tiger 4