Re: Khatar Patar in the kitchen for what?
Maal-e-Muft... Izzat Zero!
Re: Khatar Patar in the kitchen for what?
If ur staying up late talking then maybe the wife feels its normal to eat breakfast by 11? She has to sleep too right? If ur stayin in ur room for 3 hours listening to th khattar pattar then u should wake up early and go see what shes actually doing... Out of curiousity. Maybe she wakes up to send her kids to school and is making their breakfast/lunch or making hubby's lunch for work, emptying dishwasher always creates unavoidable khattar patter too. If u come out of ur room only when ur cousin says its time for breakfast then they may not be aware that u want it earlier, it might be late for them and this is the latest that they can hold off breakfast till and then they call u.
In my moms house when we had guests (who didn't have specific wake up times) she would just make breakfast as and when they got up. She'd ask them K Mae breakfast bana doon and aap kya khaain gay. They would say yes this that... Or no Im going to shower first... Or no I'm skipping breakfast because I have to go do xyz. We weren't adamant that everyone sit together and the table and have breakfast zabardasti at the same time, cuz it might be inconvinient for them or us. Lunch and dinner too, if everyone's at home at a meal time then we ate together but if they were out we would eat whenever we want to eat and serve them lunch/dinner when thy got home.. If they hadnt already eaten. We wouldn't keep them bound to having a meal at home if it's not convinient or they don't wish to. I hate it when ppl keep dancing around meal times like that's the be all end all, just do what works and eat when u want to eat. Ur still spending time with guests so what if u didn't all sit together at the table at the same time and eat, it's not the end of the world. It's so inconvinient when u have something to do or ur still out and there are ppl waiting at home k hum Aapkay saath he khana khaain gay and aap kit at bajay aa rahay Haen hum Aapka wait kar rahay Haen. I actually feel more at ease if they didn't wait for me and just started eating so I dont feel stupid that the whole house is hungry cuz I can't get to home on time (when I'm the guest.. Not the host)
If u have stuff to do and have to wake up early and leave for whatever plans u have then u can have breakfast on the go. I mean she's not making Parathay or something, omellette and toast to ihop and McDonald's pay bhi mil jaata hae. And I don't think they'll feel bad about u missin breakfast if u had to go do something and didn't think it was expected from them to wake up even earlier to make breakfast for u.
Re: Khatar Patar in the kitchen for what?
Awww el topo
Re: Khatar Patar in the kitchen for what?
As Madz124 said, the hostess might not be a morning person. Or it's possible the hosts think you are not a morning person so they may serve the breakfast a bit late so that you can maximize your sleep. Or the hostess might first be preparing something for the lunch/dinner, hence the noise in the kitchen, which is most likely unintentional.
Also as suggested above, just pack some snacks to discreetly eat them in your room in case you feel peckish. And try to take the hosts out for lunch/dinner or bring take-away from a nice restaurant so that they don't feel too burdened with the additional workload of catering to you. Also, of course, you must already know to bring at least a good cake/a nice box of something like Godiva/Lindt chocolates etc. for the hosts whenever you go visit them.
Personally though, unless it's my parents' home, I don't like frequent overnight stays at other people's homes, and prefer staying at a hotel/motel. I know some very close family members might get a bit offended if they learn that you are not staying with them. But the way to get around that is, if possible, to not let them know that you are visiting their city so that they don't feel snubbed because of your staying in a hotel.
I agree.
Just to clarify, I do not stay or visit them frequently only occasionally when I used to have more time maybe once in 6 months . Now its about once a year.
They are like aunty and uncle to me and only relatives in that city. They keep calling and leaving messages for me and keep asking me to visit them sometime.
So If I go there, there is no chance I will be able to give a good reason not to stay at their place.
Since the end of May/beginning of June, two families have been staying with us. One is an Indian Sikh family, and the other Pakistani. Both families have gone through some serious personal upsets which have left them homeless, and kipping at mine. So you would expect that this coincidence/commonality would make them more tolerant and supportive of each other.
Instead, there are skirmishes over small things (I'll go into further detail if it's of interest). Relevant to this thread, one of the points of contention was breakfast.
Indian uncle likes to eat at 5.30am on the dot. He and his wife would do the whole khatar patar in the kitchen. Their khatar patar included making the fire alarm go off. That time of morning I'm out for a run so I was initially unaware of the kerfuffle. On the fourth morning I return to find the two uncles facing off. One yelling, "Meri neend tabaah kardi" and the other replying, "Ki karda pokh lagi si." So I started waking up just before 4am to fit in my run and be back in time to make Indian uncle's breakfast, quietly. Now you know why I am on the side of the host :(
Aww! That's nice. :)
If they are living for a while at your place, then they must not be considered as guests and you really do not have to act as a host.
Re: Khatar Patar in the kitchen for what?
Hardly can be considered maale muft. I do whole lot for them too, not to say I consider it any favor to them. 
Re: Khatar Patar in the kitchen for what?
Uff! Itni Lambi Kahani Bana Di. 
No one stays in room certainly not me since I can’t stay in bed past certain time no matter how late I had slept. While her husband and I are talking in the morning or watching TV/News, the khatar Patar goes on.
Even her husband sometimes says, what are you making begum?
And I feel like asking " Chai Ban Rahi Hai Ya Paaye?" 
Anyways, I understand those points myself and no big disagreement there.
I just wanted to make a point that even though some women have been cooking almost all their adult lives, then why be sooooo slow in the kitchen?
Re: Khatar Patar in the kitchen for what?
Yes. A bit too slow. :D
If they were not so close to me, I would have stayed in nearby hotel but that again, would be unacceptable to them.
I went through a stupid situation few years ago, I visited very close family on my side in NY with hubby(hubby's first time staying at my extended family's) my hubby said its better if we get a hotel bc this is how they do it in their family, but the hosts insisted and we had to give in.
WHAT A MISTAKE, we sleep by 11ish max, 1230-1 will be exception. Our host used to be up till 3-4 and then slept in till 12-1, I wanted to die. I was so ashamed and my husband kept saying it ok, I made nashta and tea they still didnt wake up, but come on dont you f**ing know that you dragged someone home and now you are sleeping till wee hours. NEVER AGAIN!!!
Re: Khatar Patar in the kitchen for what?
I went through a stupid situation few years ago, I visited very close family on my side in NY with hubby(hubby's first time staying at my extended family's) my hubby said its better if we get a hotel bc this is how they do it in their family, but the hosts insisted and we had to give in. WHAT A MISTAKE, we sleep by 11ish max, 1230-1 will be exception. Our host used to be up till 3-4 and then slept in till 12-1, I wanted to die. I was so ashamed and my husband kept saying it ok, I made nashta and tea they still didnt wake up, but come on dont you f**ing know that you dragged someone home and now you are sleeping till wee hours. NEVER AGAIN!!!
wow thats pretty crazy. They are the hosts and you are making nashta? Aise mehman ko treat nahi karte. Next time you'll have to ask sleep schedule.
Re: Khatar Patar in the kitchen for what?
I just wanted to make a point that even though some women have been cooking almost all their adult lives, then why be sooooo slow in the kitchen?
Uh-Oh...looks like you're a demanding host.
Khud hi to kaha hai ke Aunty Uncle hein...jawani to nahin hai ke apke agay peechay dortay phirein bicharay.
Re: Khatar Patar in the kitchen for what?
How is it called demanding host when I wait around three hours for breakfast. Its not like I walk out of house and say: “That’s enough; I am going to have my naashta outside”.
Rather I act cool and keep watching TV or talking with Uncle. I even praise her for working hard and making yummy meal.
I just wanted to point as public benefit that this is also one problem some women have which needs to be kept in minds of both the hosts and the guests. 
They are not that old Reha.
Re: Khatar Patar in the kitchen for what?
And a meal can be made without announcing to everyone in the house!
I just made a spicy ground beef (kata Kut) yesterday evening after work in about 35 minutes from all fresh spices . Didn't even use the pressure cooker or Shan Masaala. :p
Re: Khatar Patar in the kitchen for what?
maybes she's made some extra stuff that she brings out once the guest who chews with mouth open eats, shoots and leaves :\
Re: Khatar Patar in the kitchen for what?
maybes she's made some extra stuff that she brings out once the guest who chews with mouth open eats, shoots and leaves :\
Oh, I do leave the Panda at home.
Re: Khatar Patar in the kitchen for what?
Very true!
“Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.”-- Benjamin Franklin.
Or, like I’d, just stay in a hotel.
Bravo! But every individual does things differently. So cut the poor aunty some slack. 
Re: Khatar Patar in the kitchen for what?
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Bravo! But every individual does things differently. So cut the poor aunty some slack. :p
I did, and always do.
I used her as example to talk about some women like her. :)