Asalamu Alaikum,
Jazak'Allah Khairun for replying and giving me some good ideas.
As many of you may have felt, there is a certain sweetness that comes with faith. I don't know how to describe that feeling, but, I know when I first started practicing Islam more consistantly, this state of peace over came me. This feeling made me strong and happy. It kept me motivated to do more and more for the sake of Allah. Things that I once found hard to do, I found easy, and infact looked forward to doing them.
When people questioned me about Islam it was the most wonderful thing to be able to share it with them. If someone opposed my Islamically oriented actions, by the grace of Allah the obstacles seemed to disappear without you having to suffer great deals of pain or hurt.
Well I always thought that these feelings came about because I thought I was doing what Allah wanted. And so long as I did what Allah had asked us as Muslims to do, Allah would help and protect me from doing what was wrong.
Well, this sweetness, or peace lasted for a good length of time, but I feel it weakening.. I find myself not as motivated to do all the things that I used to do for Allah. I find myself doing things that maybe I shouldn't really be doing. I want to my faith to be strong again.. I want to be able to not regret my actions. I want to feel confident on the Day of Judgement that I did all that I could do to please Allah.
I'll request that you don't ask for specifics. It was already quite difficult for me to write what I did, and infact I have tried writing it before but stopped.
The only reason I did was because in Abdul Malick's post, he wrote that maybe others may be feeling the same, and can benefit. I don't know if this will help someone, but perhaps some of you can relate to what I'm talking about here, and have come out of it. Insha'Allah you can tell me and the other brother and sisters who frequent this site how you managed to help yourself return to a high state of Iman.
Jazak'Allah Khairun
[This message has been edited by Yacoob (edited May 13, 1999).]