Variable of beauty and youth will apply to the man, and earnings will apply to the woman
The woman will get to meet the man, with her parents by visiting him and his parents, at their place
Then, he and his parents may visit her and her parents’ place.
She will be herself, no made up look, and with her parents’ encouragement and approval, will talk the real deal after she makes up her mind that the man is suitable for her.
Marriage ceremony, if decided for, will be simple. The woman will pay for her wedding dinner. The man will move in with her in her place, not her parents!
Woman and man will have the new house paid for or rented half and half for each –no dependency of either or either!
Woman decides when to have a child, if ever to have a child.
Parents of the couple will have no privilege to interfere in the couple’s affair, for the life of the new couple’s marriage. Only their advice, when asked will be welcomed.*
Re: Kash aisa ho .. opposite of Rishta - arranged marriage
This isn't quite the opposite of an arranged marriage. This is more of a role reversal than anything else.
If anything, I'd like to see more equality and sensibility thrown into the whole arranged marriage idea, where women won't be treated as mere commodities, where they would have more say about what they want, where they aren't judged solely on their looks or are required to get all dolled up, and where they get to reject proposals on valid grounds.
Re: Kash aisa ho .. opposite of Rishta - arranged marriage
welcome Sadiyah.
You are absolutely correct; it is role reversal, but in spirit that people realize what the women are put through in the name of implicit and explicit control over their lives and even their parents, when the whole conventional rishta unfold.
i myself will absolutely be okay if it stopped at equality, and not became role reversal. yet, i would like to add, sometimes, we need to show a mirror to those who senselessly follow the conjectures of old fashioned non-feasible methods of attempting to remain in control over things and over people.
thanks for quoting Quranic ayat.
your response is intellectually very pragmatic and satisfying.
best,
Dushwari
If anything, I'd like to see more equality and sensibility thrown into the whole arranged marriage idea, where women won't be treated as mere commodities, where they would have more say about what they want, where they aren't judged solely on their looks or are required to get all dolled up, and where they get to reject proposals on valid grounds.
Re: Kash aisa ho .. opposite of Rishta - arranged marriage
this thread makes me think of what Swift (?) wrote in Gulliver Travels, that it’s ironic that when we go out to buy a horse for our stable, we check every square inch of his body: even remove his saddle to see whether there is some scratch on his back…but when we go out to find a bride/groom we have to be content with only the face (/hands/feet)
Re: Kash aisa ho .. opposite of Rishta - arranged marriage
well exactly. And i’m sure you will agree that finding a partner is a more important event in life than buying a horse: so for the former an even more rigorous approach should actually be adapted
