kabhi...

[AQ_ki_chamchi]

*hum bhi kabhi phoolon say baatein kiy a kartay the
kuch un ki suntay , kuch apni suna liya kartay the

ab to sukhay pattay bhi nazrein churatay hain hum say
bhool gae,unhein chun kar daman main chupa lia karte the

kehti thi bahar bhi ,saba bhi, na dil laga in say
nadan thay hum bhi,sab ki ansuni kiya kartay the

hathoon main chubhay kantay chun rahe hain beth kar ab
khushnaseeb wo hain jo phool tor kar guldanoon main saja lia karte the

by AQ ki chamchi:layd:

*ps:tareef kijie chahe shairi ho kitni hi buri
nahi to chamchi ban ke dekhae gi churi:barbie:

[AQ]

Re: kabhi...

[EMAIL="lol@churi"]lol@churi

come to think of it, you got the poignant factor right in there... a very creative effort... your radeef, behr are ok.. qafiya is also better but you have to concentrate on your wazan ... I also have the same problem... I sometimes can not control the wazan .... that also includes the length of one sher with the rest.. look at your last sher of ghazal... but overall.. a job welldone :)

[Krypton]

Re: kabhi...

aww ur getting better at poetry :D

eeks

[AQ_ki_chamchi]

Re: kabhi…

@Anwaar Qureshi

lol@churi

come to think of it, you got the poignant factor right in there… a very creative effort… your radeef, behr are ok.. qafiya is also better but you have to concentrate on your wazan … I also have the same problem… I sometimes can not control the wazan … that also includes the length of one sher with the rest.. look at your last sher of ghazal… but overall.. a job welldone

i know i need to go on dieting

ramadan main itni fried cheezien khain:layd:

thanks for appreciating

@lifeless

aww ur getting better at poetry

eeks

my first book will be on u:chai: