People, I seriously want to say some thing here. But every time I finish typing a sentence, my mind does a U-turn and I end up deleting every letter. It’s as if, my thought process suffers a breakdown because all the feelings are entangled and complicatedly intertwined! So do pardon me if the following paragraphs make little or no sense.
For the past 23 years, this life has more or less looked like a joyride-I had my shares of ups and downs, fears and complexes, friends and foes, love and betrayal alike. If my days went bad, I’d sleep anticipating a dawn that’d introduce me to everything beautiful but when my nights went in a turmoil, I’d seek to replenish my emotionally drained out state with new hopes that came along with the rising sun. But for some reason, if at this stage of my life, whilst being the cynosure of all eyes as a bride-to-be, if God were to grant me the privilege and wherewithal to do as I like, and if somebody were to ask me what do I want next? My unflinching answer would be ,” Turn the clock back and give me my childhood!”
Contrary to what I foresee of my future, my childhood and adolescence was that of the conventional overly protected kid with everything materially alluring at her disposal, though I lacked what most were blessed with –siblings! I regret being born as the only kid not because I lost the beautiful, fun part of childhood or that there won’t be a grief stricken kin to bid me an adieu at my marriage but because I can feel the emptiness and gloominess that will replace me in my parents’ lives!
I agree marriage is a sanctimonious ritual well dreamt of by every girl and I must confess, my imaginations about getting married used to be too colorful, creative and enthralling to describe here. But now that I’m finally gearing up to watch my dreams translate into reality, I feel the ghosts of uncertainties and nervousness quietly creeping into me and benumbing all my ecstatic thoughts! It’s like, I am very much confident about my parents’ choice, more than glad to marry my childhood friend knowing we’ve been the classic case of Tom n Jerry all this while (I have an upper hand on him, yay!) but still, thoughts like going away from mom n dad, adjusting to a new life, invoking a sense of maturity, being more than responsible, perfecting the art of being a homemaker, giving up all my stupid antics, funky hairstyles, zero tantrums and oh, above all, forgetting Shahid Afridi forever (my fiancé has given me an ultimatum to choose one!) ; all of these (not the last actually) are actually ruining my preparations! My fellow guppies have countless threads about wedding preparations to their credit and I read most of them voraciously and to be honest, they do provide me the feel-good factor but it’s very short lived!
Pray, tell me how you married guppies dealt with all these phobias or is it just me being the severely confused and schizophrenic bride-to-be??
And yeah, other than this, please someone tell me why aren’t boys supposed to leave their parent’s?
Wouldn’t it be great to see a guy sobbing on his father’s shoulders??