Just some thoughts

Lifestyle Relationships
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I relied on this forum for the past two years to get through some turbulent times. My life is still nowhere near stable, I have multiple issues to confront and fix, but my reasoning in writing on this forum is not to complain about my issues but rather provide my own perspective and opinion on dealing with life's battles. I understand the mind is a challenging mechanism to handle and its never so simple. I always felt I was a perfect 'candidate' for suicide. I have every problem in the book and I am not a good person by any reach, but for me it was my immediate family for my motivation and still is, to live.

I never would admit or think I have depression because EVERYONE has some sort of depressed state, but it is the severity that matters and how one copes with it and does not allow it to harm their own self or others. If anyone is in the most darkest place they have been in, and feel they are the most vile, vitriolic and disgusting human, trust me you're not. You may be in that league, but just because society labels you as a pariah just be good and moralistic and live life to the fullest. I am no preacher, what I am saying is standard and textbook cliche but I learnt that I made some pretty messed up decisions and did some pretty messed up things but I am living for a reason. I have to do good while I am still on this planet. Use my purpose for good. So if anyone has some really bad and harmful thoughts, just be aware that you're really not alone, that you have a community, a circle or a shelter in place for any type of issue or state you may be in.

We all make mistakes, do stupid things, and feel that we do not belong, and sometimes you have to own up to your mistakes, do your time and move on. In my case I am still living that but I found my true "calling" and started to hone in on some hobbies and interests I never got to fulfill, and my family is my main motivation. I am slowly starting a new way of life in all aspects. I guess after rambling on and on my main takeaway is this: don't let life's daily battles affect your future; grind it out, struggle and do your best. It is a challenge, if I had the solution I would or others who found a solution would be billionaires. There are going to be people who preach and try to guide you, people like motivational speakers, religious scholars, and if they help that is amazing but find your accelerant and run with it. I paid my dues to society in all ways.

I damaged myself mentally, physically, socially, financially, academically, you name it I most likely did it. Now I deserve happiness. We all do no matter what we do and grant it we are going to have naysayers which is acceptable, but for the limited time you have on this planet, use it for a good purpose. So again, I know I rambled, probably ran off on some tangents but again my main takeaway is to enjoy life to the fullest and find your passion. Mine was my family and to seek happiness I had to accept my mistakes, accept that I paid my dues and that I deserve happiness. There were a lot of people who doubted me but a lot who also helped and I needed both to realize I need to keep at it.

3 Likes
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I needed this. Thanks. Its story of my life.

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A student of mine lost his mother today. She passed away after surgery. It is the first time for me to face something like this. He is only 8-9 years old and the father does not seem to be very involved. His life will never be the same again. He loves to eat and his mom took very special care of his food, making sure that he had snacks throughout the day, heating up his food for him., etc. All those little things for which he relied upon his mom and which his young, innocent mind took for granted........he will now feel that kammi, that void in those little things. His grandmother and aunts might try to compensate, but it will be never be the same as mom....it won't have her touch to it. All of life's milestones....upcoming birthdays, graduations, achievements, and even life's trials won't be met with her embrace or her encouragement or her prayers. That's the kind of loss you can't replace and it puts things in perspective for you. It makes you question whether some of the things that we are so obsessed and hung up over are worth it......it makes you want to take back words and unsay things you may have said.

Another person's singular loss......just the loss of one thing.......(even that of a child's) can outweigh the several problems that you have on your plate. And all your financial woes and your health issues and strained and failed relationships can severely pale in comparison to the trial of losing a loved on for good.

Regardless of how your relationship is with your parents, OP, you have them right? Count that blessing. Despite the health issues....you're breathing right? You're not hooked up to any machines in a hospital or bound to a wheel chair right? Despite the financial troubles, you've a roof over your head while there are many that sleep without it, right?

It's great that you've realized the necessity to pursue your passions, but it's also good to be thankful to Allah for what you DO have cuz it can't ALL be that bad. If what you're facing is not the kind of loss that is 100% irreplaceable or irreversible, consider that a mercy and blessing to hold on to.

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Thank you. I needed this reminder.

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Hor sade laeq koi khidmat?