I might be married in few months but I feel no happiness and I do have a submissive nature but when I am sad its constant and I feel like a robot with no feelings for anyone (love for your spouse). I’m so tired of being sad though I have a lot to be grateful for, but in every namaz I become so teary eyed that my eyes become swollen. I dont want to feel depressed but I think my life has lost its meaning. Please do dua for me.
Re: Just a thread..
Assalamualaikum warahamtullah
May Allah subhan wa ta'alla gives you comfort, peace and bless you and give afiat in your matters Allahuma Ameen
Just keep yourself busy in zikr or increase nawafil and nafli roza!
Re: Just a thread..
Thanks Tahurra.
Re: Just a thread..
Peace Goalgappy,
O Loard! how to avail Your Help?
Nay, seek (Allah's) help with patient perseverance and prayer: It is indeed hard, except to those who bring a lowly spirit,- [2:45]
O Lord! how to avail Your forgiveness?
Say: "O my Servants who have transgressed against their souls! Despair not of the Mercy of Allah: for Allah forgives all sins: for He is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful [39:53]
O Lord! how to get satisfaction in heart?
"Those who believe, and whose hearts find satisfaction in the remembrance of Allah: for without doubt in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find satisfaction.[13:28]
O Lord! I'm feeling so lonely.
Then do ye remember Me; I will remember you. Be grateful to Me, and reject not Faith.[2:152]
Re: Just a thread..
I might be married in few months but I feel no happiness and I do have a submissive nature but when I am sad its constant and I feel like a robot with no feelings for anyone (love for your spouse). I'm so tired of being sad though I have a lot to be grateful for, but in every namaz I become so teary eyed that my eyes become swollen. I dont want to feel depressed but I think my life has lost its meaning. Please do dua for me.
Peace Golgappay
Why are you doing something that you don't want to do? Marriage is a life decision - are you willing to spoil your own future and the future of your spouse if you are not ready? If you are ready that is a different matter, but if you are not ready "think" - consult people who are yet not married and see if they do or do not envy the position you are in.
You are not required to "love" your spouse yet - in Islam love comes after marriage ... for now you need to be sure for the marriage in other ways: (Can you at least respect your spouse? and is this sentiment mutual?)
1) Are the parents of your potential spouse and your own parents happy?
2) Are you able to meet their requirements and them able to meet your requirements?
3) Is basic attraction there or possible to form?
4) Will you enjoy a similar life in marriage that you have had before marriage?
5) Is this rishta good for your deen? i.e. Will you be able to help increase goodness in each other?
6) Are you free to make your own decision in this matter?
If the answers to these questions is "yes" then don't fear the unknown ... however, if any of them is "no" then do something about it now ... Get basic satisfaction before committing - the rest is just Satanic whispers that you need to learn to dispel.
Be sure say 80% is good enough ... but do not seek 100% surety as it will delay any good that could come from this. Besides if you expect some rough waters that is reasonable and prepare yourself on how you will handle them. Conflict is sometimes good but you need to have the patience to see them through to the end because there is a wonderful sweetness in resolving conflicts.
Sadness stems from "expectation" the way to stop being sad is to learn to experience the "living moment" of your life. Praise Allah (SWT) in all the blessings you can count - start from the breath He has given you. But if you live too much in the past and too much in the future - then you will inevitably generate an anxiety and an expectation and a fear that will render you sad ... Free yourself from the prison of your "self" and you will open the doors to happiness. The rest is for Allah (SWT) to bestow you with. Supplicate those prayers as suggested above with real need before Allah (SWT) but once done then you need to move on without anticipation.