A cousin of mine died last week. He was just 6 years old. It was due to no reason. Doctors are still investigating the cause. May Allah Paak rest his soul in peace. He came to world innocents and returned innocent keeping all us sinned with only memories left alive. May Allah bless (Chacha & Chachi Jaan) Patience to bear the loss of his only Son. May Allah bless him with Jannat.
Yesterday I signed in to my Facebook after a month and was amazed to see that every single family member of mine including elders, Cousins, Kids, Anties & Uncles changed their Facebook Picture with his (The baby who died). All were moaning over Facebook. Posting status for him, Commentings longs messeges, Sharings his death stoires and asking for Dua and Prayers for him. A new Page was created under his name as well. I don’t know why I didn’t like the way they all were countering. I don’t know why but I didn’t feel right.
What do you think it is okay to put pictures? Shares his death Stories. Whimper on Facebook. Or maybe I am being really stupid thinking all this?
My dadi ama recently passed away, the family is scattered in different parts of the world. It was just comforting sharing old pictures and memories related to them. However, no one had posted a picture of her in kaffon. That is something we will never do.
Yeah I think it's weird sharing stories and posting pics and I personally wouldn't do it, but different people grieve in different ways. There is a hadith of the Prophet (saw) however which states how a woman was wailing over a gravestone of her child, making a big fuss, and the Prophet (saw) passed from behind her and advised her to calm down. She didn't know who it was so she said something like you have no idea what kind of pain I'm feeling, but the Prophet (saw) quietly said he was aware as he too had lost the life of a child, yet he still advised to mourn quietly.
From that I don't like to make a big show about mourning - yes everyone feels bad but do you need to broadcast it on fb? But yeah, if that's what makes it easier for them then let them get on with it. You don't need to join in if it makes you uncomfortable - just ignore them and do your own thing.
Inna lillahe w'inna illahe rajeoon.
Ameen to the duas.
I guess everyone has their own way of mourning. We are individuals, all of us, and each will be different in the way that we express our feelings.
Then there are leaders and followers. Some will veer from the flow of the river and others will be caught in the powerful surge.
Personally I don't agree with posting pics of people that have passed. I don't mind if we take those pics to keep for our personal use but publicly posting them is not something that I would want to do or have done.
We each grieve in our own ways and losing a family member is difficult especially when the death was "untimely". Dying is a natural part of our life, just another phase of our existence. We are souls, we just change our forms but never truly get extinguished. To Him we belong and to Him is our return.
Your cousin's time on earth was quite brief but I'm sure he is in a better place. I've heard that when good people are dying, they are more concerned about those they leave behind instead of their passing into the next world while those left behind mourn the departed's passing.
Not at all weird. I follow a lot of pages like that, or of sick children/adults. Family members trying to console each other. Memories of the ones who are no longer with us. I appreciate every single post like that. Some sick kids who are either alive or no longer in this world, their parents trying hard to spread awareness of the disease or the cause of their death.. take lots of guts to do that.
My Chacha lives in Europe and the funeral is plan in Pakistan. What actually shocked me the most is that one of my cousin there has taken his death picture (The one where his body is kept in extreme cold storage to preserve his body while travelling). The whole thing on Facebook is spreading like virus. I can’t imagine of viewing my close ones death picture. I can’t imagine of looking at his death picture. This is against our religion. I am 100% sure none of my cousin will ever post or spread the picture of someone who will die in their immediate family ever. I wonder how will his parents react or feel when they will see those millions of picture of Facebook. The deceased parents need a lot of DUA to recover the loss.
1- sharing stories about deceased- I don't see anything wrong with that. At times it helps at times it does not. The memorial services sometimes where friends and family talk about their memories of the departed actually help. A very influential person in my life just passed away this one, someone who had more of a role in my life than anyone else aside from my parents. Sharing with others, memories, funny stories, some unique things, old pics etc was very healing for people spread all over US and all over the world.
2- sharing regular pictures meaning picture prior to death, again nothing wrong with it, memories, words, pictures, narrations...it is remembering the lifetime of someone who is gone.
3- pictures after death. That is a little strange, but it depends on people. When my grandmother passed away, my cousins sent her kafan pic, it's in my inbox, I did not know what it was when I opened it. It disturbed me, but at the same time seeing her at peace face was comforting in some way as well.
In the end, the parents wishes have to be the biggest driving factor and must be respected. Sensitivity is critical.
I don't mind sharing a persons memory. Kafan pictures are sometimes sent privately for family around the world that can not attend funerals. My uncles pictures was sent to me but I knew what it was as my cousins had told me and I had asked my dad if he was comfortable seeing it before I showed it to him. I know it brought him peace because he couldn't be there. If we had that option around when my grandmother died 15 years ago I know it also would of helped my father then as well since its so hard when you can't be with your family during these times.
What I don't understand is when these pictures surface publicly over fb. I find it very very disturbing because I find it disgraces the life of the deceased as others just do not respect and appreciate it as much as an immediate family member would. I have seen many images on my fb of people's family members who have been shot or killed in some of the "target killings" in Pakistan and you have mangled faces and missing limbs in these photos. its sad but just gross. the people posting this stuff are family members and then everyone and anyone who had some connection start sharing it on their walls and it just spreads. I don't want that stuff showing up on my newsfeed it's very weird and these pictures are too graphic. Sharing memories is one thing, sharing disturbing pictures of people that are not alive due to unfortunate events or do not look the same after death is another. Someones uncle I knew was murdered in Pakistan and I they saw it as some kind of justice to spread the picture of him after he had been shot. I was horrified and have started to completely hide the people that often post this kind of stuff.