Jokes...

Hangout Humor (Rated G)
1

…what else?

Son : Daddy, have you ever been to Egypt?
Father : No. Why do you ask that?
Son : Well, where did you get mummy then?

Peter : What a pair of strange socks you are wearing, one is green
and one is blue with red spots!
Kirk : Yes it’s really strange. I’ve got another pairof the same at home.

Teacher : Peter, why are you late for school again?
Peter : Well, Miss,I dreamed that I was playing football and the game
went into extra time.

Wife : Do you want dinner?
Husband : Sure, what are my choices?
Wife : Yes and no.

First Guy (proudly): “My wife’s an angel!”
Second Guy : “You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.”

The girl asked her lover, “Darling, if we get engaged,will you give me a
ring?” "Sure, " replied her lover “What’s your phone number?”

A drunkard was brought to court. Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery. The
judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted,“Order, order.” The drunkard immediately I’ll have a scotch and soda."

‘For twenty years my husband and I were very happy" What happened then?’ ‘We met.’

Girl : Do you love me ?
Boy : Yes Dear
Girl : Would you die for me ?
Boy : No, mine is undying love

1st thief : Oh ! The police is here.
Quick! Jump out of the window
2nd thief : But this is the 13th floor.
1st thief : Hurry! this is no time for superstitions.

Man : How old is your father ?
Boy : As old as me
Man : How can that be ?
Boy : He became a father only when I was born.

Teacher : Correct the sentence, “A bull and a cow is grazing in the field”
Student : A cow and a bull is grazing in the field.
Teacher : How ?
Student : Ladies first.

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Hope you enjoy these:

These are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down
and now published by court reporters - who had the torment of staying calm
whilst these exchanges were actually taking place. Some of these are
excellent - don't miss the last one!

Q: What is your date of birth?
A: July fifteenth.
Q: What year?

A: Every year.

Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?

A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.

Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
A: Yes.
Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
A: I forget.
Q: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've

forgotten?

Q: How old is your son, the one living with you?
A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
Q: How long has he lived with you?

A: Forty-five years.

Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that
morning?
A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
Q: And why did that upset you?

A: My name is Susan.

Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the
occult?
A: We both do.
Q: Voodoo?
A: We do.
Q: You do?

A: Yes, voodoo.

Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he

doesn't know about it until the next morning?

Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?

Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?

Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.

Q: And what were you doing at that time?

Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.

Q: Were there any girls?

Q: How was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.

Q: And by whose death was it terminated?

Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.

Q: Was this a male, or a female?

Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice
which I sent to your attorney?

A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.

Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.

Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?

A: Oral.

Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?

A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.

Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?

Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for blood pressure?
A: No.
Q: Did you check for breathing?
A: No.
Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the
autopsy?
A: No.
Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
Q: But could the patient have still been alive, never the less?
A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practising law
somewhere.

3

:)

4

:rotfl:..
Nice ones:k:…
and nice nick 2:k:…

5

Nice nick? Mine??? God knows I truly wish to change it to something shorter.

6

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Silver Falcon Of Kashmir: *

Nice nick? Mine??? God knows I truly wish to change it to something shorter.
[/QUOTE]

its k..u'll get used 2 it:D...

7

hello people.

short and simple R the best.

Q:- How do you get ‘peeckachu’ on the bus?

A:- Pokemon …(poke-him-on…now do you get it) :rotato:

8

hilaroius

Bro these are sooooooo funny its just incredible especially the last one.. .. i think some people aint gona get it.. though..(not that i am a smart ass )
-Salman

9

:k:

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Re: hilaroius

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by SalmanNY: *
Bro these are sooooooo funny its just incredible especially the last one.. .. i think some people aint gona get it.. though..(not that i am a smart ass )
-Salman
[/QUOTE]

Bro???

11

very nice… :hehe:

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LOlz..