Jokes!!

Hangout Humor (Rated G)
1

Ok its better to creat one topic instead of making different topic for just one purpose … so i will share my jokes here :slight_smile:

A man and his wife were driving on the
highway when a state policeman appeared in
their mirror, obviously wanting them to pull
over. The man pulls over and the officer
approaches the car:

State cop: License and registration please
Man: I’m sorry officer, what seems to be the
problem?
State cop: I clocked you on radar doing
75mph.
Man: There must be some mistake, I was only
going 65.
Wife: Oh Harold, you were going at least 80!

State cop: I’m also citing you for having a
tail light out.
Man: But officer, I wasn’t aware it was out.

Wife: Oh Harold, you know its been out for
two months.
State cop: I’m also fining you for not
wearing your seat belt.
Man: But officer, I just took it off as you
were approaching my car.
Wife: Oh Harold, you know you never wear your
seat belt.
Man: Listen you dumb cow, shut your mouth!!!

State cop: Ma’am, does he always talk to you
this way?
Wife: Only when he’s drunk…

2

Re: Jokes!!

lol :)

3

Re: Jokes!!

:omg:

4

Re: Jokes!!

nce, Newton came to Pakistan and watched a few Lollywood movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.
In the movies of Sultan Rahi, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes

1) Sultan Rahi has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Sultan Rahi is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured!

Long Live Sultan Rahi!

2) In another movie, Sultan Rahi is confronted with 3 gangsters. Sultan Rahi has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. The knife cuts the bullet into 2 pieces, which kills both the gangsters on each side of the middle gangster & the knife kills the middle one.

3) Sultan Rahi is chased by a gangster. Sultan Rahi has a revolver but no bullets in it. Guess what he does. Nah? Not even in your remotest imaginations. He waits for the gangster to shoot. As soon as the gangster shoots,Sultan Rahi opens the bullet compartment of his revolver and catches the bullet. Then, he closes the bullet compartment and fires his gun.Bang... the gangster dies...

This was too much for our Newton to take! He was completely shaken and decided to go back. But he happened to see another movie for one last time, and thought that at least one movie would follow his theory of physics. The whole movie goes fine and Newton is happy that all in the world hasn't changed. Oops, not so fast!

The 'climax' finally arrives.

Sultan Rahi gets to know that the villain is on the other side of a very high wall. So high that Sultan Rahi can't jump even if he tries like one of those superman techniques that our heroes normally use. Sultan Rahi has to desperately kill the villain because it's the climax. (Newton dada is smiling since it is virtually impossible?) Sultan Rahi suddenly pulls two guns from his pockets. He throws one gun in the air and when the gun has reached above the height of the wall, he uses the second gun and shoots at the trigger of the first gun in air. The first gun fires off and the villain is dead.

Newton commits suicide... :D

5

Re: Jokes!!

Zailsingh decided to write the MBA exam. He could understand every thing except for the LOGIC part. One day when he was reading, Rajiv came home.

Rajiv: Zailsinghji How is your MBA preparation?

Zail Singh: Every thing is fine, but I could not understand Logic.

Rajiv: Logic is very easy.

Zailsingh: Can you give me an example, so that I can understand.

Rajiv: OK. Do you have fish pot in your house?

Zail: YES.

Rajiv: Logically, there will be water in it.

Zail: YES.

Rajiv: Logically, there will be fish in it.

Zail: YES.

Rajiv: Logically, someone will be feeding the fish.

Zail: YES.

Rajiv: I take a guess that your wife will be feeding the fish.

Zail: YES.

Rajiv: so, logically, your are married.

Zail: YES.

Rajiv: So, that means U are a heterosexual.

Zailsingh was very glad and he understood logic. Next day he sees Bantasingh and he was also preparing for MBA.

Zail: How is your MBA preparation?

Banta: Everything is fine except for the logic.

Zail: Oh, logic is easy.

Banta: Please, give me an example.

Zail: Do you have a fish pot in your house?

Banta: NO, I don't.

Zail: Saala HOMO!!! :D

6

Re: Jokes!!

lolz - gr8 jokes!!!!

7

Re: Jokes!!

hahhhaaaa,good

Personality with fruits