The Minister’s Dentures
The minister had just had all of his remaining teeth pulled and new dentures were being made.
The first Sunday after the surgery, he only preached for 10 minutes. The second Sunday, he preached only 20 minutes. But, on
the third Sunday he preached for 1 hour 25 minutes.
When asked about this by some of the congregation, he responded this way:
“The first Sunday, my gums were so sore it hurt to talk. The second Sunday, my dentures were hurting a lot. The third Sunday,
I accidentally grabbed my wife’s dentures and I couldn’t stop talking!”
=============================================Bad News or Terrible News First
This guy was sitting in his attorney’s office.
“Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?” the lawyer said.
“Give me the bad news first.”
“Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars.”
“That’s the bad news?” asked the man incredulously.
“I can’t wait to hear the terrible news.”
“The terrible news is that it’s of you and
your secretary.”
Men Get Even
A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up as it sometimes does.
But then the wife suddenly stops and says “I don’t feel like it,I just want you to hold me.” “WHAT!?” says her husband. The wife
explains that he must be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. He realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he
might as well deal with it.
The next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive
outfits. She can’t decide.He tells his wife to take all three of them. They head to the shoe department and pick up matching shoes
worth $200 each.
The pair go to the jewelry department where she finds a set of diamond earrings that her husband agrees to buy for her. The wife
is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out - but she doesn’t care. She goes for the matching tennis bracelet. The
husband says “You don’t even play tennis, but if you like it then let’s get it.”
The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says to her husband, “I’m ready to
go, let’s go to the cashier.”
The husband stops and says, “No, honey I don’t feel like buying all this stuff now.” The wife’s face goes blank. “Honey - I just
want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.”
The look on her face is indescribable and she is about to explode as her husband says, “You must be in tune with my financial needs as a Man.”
Gravity is not responsible for people falling in love