And some more !!! 
Raj and Saj, now pilots are trying to land an airplane at Heathrow Airport.
They start descending and as they touch the ground Saj screams ‘Oye Raj, the runway is ending…".
Raj swiftly gets the plane back up in the air… They make a big turn and start descending again. The moment they touch the ground, Saj screams again “Get the plane up, the runaway is ending…”. Raj swiftly gets the plane back up in the air… They make a big turn and start descending again… This goes on again and again…
During their fourth descent Raj says : “Look at those stupid Brits, they build this huge & expensive airport but with such a short runaway..”, “I know” answers Saj, “But look how wide they made it…”
Ringing Phone:
Raj and his wife were just settling in to bed one night when the phone rang. Raj got out of bed and went into the living room to answer the phone. His wife could hear him say, “Hello?” Then he said, “Sure is.” He hung up the receiver and went back to bed.
A minute later the phone rang again. Raj got out of bed and went into the other room and his wife could hear him say, “Hello?” again and then he said, “Sure is.” again. He hung up the receiver and went back to bed. The wife asked who it was. Raj said he didn‘t know.
A minute later the phone rang again. Raj got out of bed and went into the other room and his wife could hear him say, “Hello?” Then he said, “Sure is.” He hung up the receiver and went back to bed. The wife asked again about the caller. Raj said he didn‘t know who it was.
The wife then asked, "Well, what did the person say? He said, "It‘s odd, a woman just keeps saying: “Long distance from Calcutta…”
Careful Driver:
As Raj was driving down the motorway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife‘s voice urgently warning him, "Buta-jee, I just heard on the news that there‘s a car going the wrong way on the motorway you are on.
Please be careful!" “It‘s not just one car,” said Buta Singh. “It‘s hundreds of them!”
Shokat‘s Theorem for Giving 100% At Work…:
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12% Monday
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23% Tuesday
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40% Wednesday
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20% Thursday
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5% Friday
Rules for Females:
Learn to work the toilet seat. You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
Sometimes, we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
Do not ask us what we are thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, and NASCAR.
Sunday = sports. It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
Shopping is NOT a sport, and no, we are never going to think of it that way.
When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
Crying is blackmail.
Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work. Strong hints do not work. Obvious hints do not work. Just say it!
We don’t remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
Check your own oil! Please.
Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
If you won’t dress like the Victoria’s Secret girls, don’t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
Alcohol Warnings:
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your pants.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter and more handsome than everybody else.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
WARNING: Consumption of alcohol may actually CAUSE pregnancy.
Brilliant Jee…They Really Brightened Up My Day…Thankyou 
xXx