saima...I can kind of relate to your dilemma. I have been working and earning my keep all my adult life...with little or no breaks in between...even with babies. And I can imagine if I had to spend a whole lot of money given to me by someone else, I would not be able to do so. The last person I would spend on would be my self...like you!
But I agree with suggestion by Ira. In your budget, put aside a little saima money...just for you and give yourself a treat ...you have earned it!