Sara516
November 8, 2008, 12:29am
17
Since marrying my husband 9 years ago, I’ve never had my own bank account. Instead we both have debit cards and free access to our joint accounts. I’m the one that sends the bills, buys all groceries and household items, things for the kids. So basically I manage the whole household and try to run it as efficiently as possible. I know everything that comes in and goes out. My husband has told me numerous times that it’s a source of stress for him and sometimes he doesn’t want to know any of that stuff. He works a very demanding job, very long hours and tremendous stress. So often, I feel that what I do is insignificant. We have 3 young kids and I stay at home with them. One is in gr.1 but the other two are home with me. Anyways, often I feel so much guilt about how hard my husband works that I feel I don’t deserve to waste his money. Since I keep the budgets, the stress is now on me. I cannot allow myself to buy simple things for myself. When the kids grow out of their clothes, I have no problem going to the Gap and buying them nice things (from the sale rack). But for myself it’s different somehow.
Recently I needed a simple shirt and sweater because the weather is getting cooler. I bought them at Target. My husband was appalled. He told me to never buy clothes for myself from there again. He said to go to Nordstrom. And I thought to myself, “Right, when have I ever done that?” I feel that he would become resentful and I would become a burden if I ever did that. Part of the issue is that I’ve always had a job since age 14. I’ve always taken care of myself up until I was 3 months pregnant with our first child. So now, sharing an account that feels like HIS money is weird to me. I hear him fretting, “We’re not saving enough,” and so how would I feel? I sacrifice my own needs so he’s happy. I’m not sure if I need to find a source of income for myself or what a good solution is. Anyone relate?
and what is wrong with target
as for your predicament…most men want to be able to provide luxuries to their families…(its different if they refuse to buy any themselves). There has to be a right balance, which I do see based on everyons experiences…if the husband is telling u to spend, and being generous… well wife shouldn’t take advantage of it. I thinK the hubbies of all the women who’ve posted so far are lucky as heck to have smart sane wives. :k:
.im assuming its saimacali now rather than -nyc? how are the girls?