JOB APPRAISAL

If you work for a big company, you know what it’s like
when you get your performance review - telling you how great
or how lousy you performed. If you are a student, it’s sort
of like grades with lots of comments.

But what do these terms really mean.?
Here is a version that is probably quite close to the truth.

  • Average Employee: Not too bright.
  • Exceptionally Well
    Qualified: Made No Major Blunders Yet.
  • Active Socially: Drinks a lot
  • Family Active Socially: Spouse drinks, too.
  • Character Above Reproach: Still one step ahead of the law.
  • Zealous Attitude: Opinionated
  • Quick-Thinking: Offers plausible excuses.
  • Plans For Advancement: Buys drinks for all the boys.
  • Uses Logic On
    Difficult Jobs: Gets someone else to do it.
  • Expresses Themselves Well: Speaks in full sentences.
  • Meticulous A nit picker.
  • Good Judgement: Lucky.
  • Career-Minded: Back-stabber.
  • Coming Along Well: About to be let go.
  • Of Great Value To The
    Organization: Gets to work on time.
  • Relaxed Attitude: Sleeps at desk.
  • Work Is First Priority: Too ugly to get a date.
  • Independent Worker: Nobody knows what he/she does.
  • Forward Thinking: Procrastinator.
  • Great Presentation Skills: Able To Bullshit.
  • Good Communication Skills: Spends lots of time on phone.
  • Loyal: Can’t get a job anywhere else.
  • Keen Sense Of Humor: Knows a lot of dirty jokes.

PAINDOO ROLLA