Re: Jealousy
Didnt say that. Actually opposite to it. Sorry for bad english. My point is, If men keep their wives happy and dont lose interest in them like most men and are active with them, then their wives will not cheat on them (most of the women) or notice any advancement. Most women only welcome a man's advancement when they lack something on their side. Otherwise they feel happy with their husbands. So in my opinion, only a high category player can seduce a happily married woman. A normal player can't.
So Husbands, who are keeping wives happy, dont need to worry too much about attractiion of other men.
^ He does have a point, Uzair. I have heard that often times the women men will cheat with are not better looking than their wives and that what they want is "variety" ...which is interesting considering that men are said to be more visual. I don't know if cheating wives usually get with men better looking their husbands, but being the more emotional gender, they could potentially stray toward someone who is giving them the attention they crave. Kinda like the situation where a girl breaks up with her bf....or is perhaps dealing with turbulence with her significant other.....and becomes drawn to the guy who becomes her shoulder to cry on. There are some guys who will take advantage of a girl's vulnerable state and play the "therapist" ...lend a listening ear....and offer consoling words for their own gains (Disclaimer: not all guys are like that)....but in such scenarios, the woman's emotional needs are being taken advantage of.
Traditionally, the consequences of committing infidelity were much harsher for women than for men. They still are in many parts of the world. There is a tendency, therefore, to attribute women's infidelity to positive motives and factors beyond their control. Sympathetic excuses are used for women's infidelity to save them from being judged harshly and portray them as victims rather than wrongdoers.
It is thought that a woman cheats either because her husband seriously neglects or wrongs her and therefore pushes her into the arms of another man or when a man with a sinister intent corrupts an unsuspecting lady simply looking for a shoulder to cry upon. Notice that in both cases the idea is to absolve woman of any responsibility and portray her as a naive, gullible and powerless creature.
Women are also coy about their sexual desires. To say that women cheat for sexual reasons would reflect badly on women's collective image. After all women have a greater desire than men to be seen as morally correct, and to feel good about themselves.
Nowadays the debate on infidelity has fortunately moved beyond these has been old wives tales, atleast in societies where women cheat as much as, if not more than, men. I suggest reading the book "Women's Infidelity" by Michele Langley.
Its important to consider why women cheat with men who are much more attractive than their husbands. In many cases the difference in physical attractiveness is so significant that one cannot help but think the husbands neglect (assuming he did neglect her) is a blessing in disguise and a welcome excuse to get it on with a guy much more desirable than the husband.
Neglect hasn't got anything to do with lack of attractiveness, right? If its just a husbands neglect then why does she have to cheat with a guy who is significantly more attractive than him? Ofcourse its about lust, desire, passion, spontaneity that her husband is incapable of giving her. Ofcourse its about being with a man with a better body, more handsome face, who is better endowed, is better in bed, is more exciting, etc than her husband.
The reality is that most women who cheat have nice caring husbands but don't value them. They are tempted by more attractive men. Many have happy stable lives but are bored and want some novelty and thrills. Perhaps some even love their husbands but are not 'in love' with them. Im sure these reasons apply equally when men cheat.
If you talk to really good looking guys with relatively large social circles they would tell you how often married women come on to them. I personally know a few guys who have been with several married women, each. A good friend of mine is a model knows several other model guys each of whom have their own anecdotes with married women to tell. One feels its just the tip of the iceberg of a hidden world. You realize that when a guy is very attractive opportunities to have affairs with married women come quite easily and frequently. At the workplace, neighborhood, parties, gatherings, weddings, etc. And these are just regular upper middle class women Im talking about who drop off their kids to school every morning and shop at malls. The bottom like is that talking to men who have affairs with married women you'd be convinced that its mostly about sex and the theories about "gullible women neglected by husbands looking for shoulder to cry upon manipulated by con-men" will go out of the window.