Jealousy

Lifestyle Relationships
41

Re: Jealousy

I'd keep an eye on her...but that's just me

42

Re: Jealousy

Weird.
He done messed up.

43

Re: Jealousy

Lot of politically correct statements.

44

Re: Jealousy

I don't think I would

45

Re: Jealousy

Well I don't really work now but when I did sub at an American school here (where it's a mixed work environment) I don't recall it ever coming up. The thing is that the type of ppl we are I don't think we'd get jealous but my hubby always has this line k usko Zada free karnay ki zaroorat nahi hae. Meaning, some guys always want a go at being pally with girls (even if there is no sort of infedelity involved, not even emotional infedelity) and u should know how much u can really indulge someone. So I don't know if I really classify it as jealousy, since he doesn't think that person can steal me or something, but just k wo Kyun free ho raha hae. Maybe its just terminology I dunno. Or maybe I think the word conservative sounds more appropriate for my hubby than jealous does.
Another thing, my husband's conservativeness is really relative (to the situation, the social setting, the people involved or the geographical location). I sorta poke fun at him for that, and he has no come back for it. For eg. He has no problem taking me with him when he's meeting a gora at dinner (a colleague, but just having a casual social meeting). We talk about his work, the general culture, anything in fact. And I'm all in on the conversation. There's no something like k aap Zada baat nahi kijiyayga. But he would never do that with his Arab colleagues or even the Pakistani ones. Just because in the gora setting it's socially acceptable (from the point I view of the gora) for me to be there and in the Arab/Pakistani setting its not. Like he always gets wierd where he thinks anyone else would judge me for being me, and so then he has all these little instructions that he would like me to follow.

When I'm in another country he has no probs with me wandering around on my own (whether we're tourists or we're visiting family). But in Saudia he's all up in my business :) constantly "taking care" of me. He gets put off by salesmen "getting free", just because he knows they are acting different than if I were a Saudi customer. (he would not mind the same level of friendliness from the salesman in another country, where its seen as normal or appropriate, as in he's just being nice to make the sale). The salesmen here btw are terrified at offending Saudis by disrespecting their women. So it makes my hubby sorta pissed at why they think they cannot offer the same respect to women who r not Saudi.

Anyway since I knew him out of Saudia when I met him I know that though he's conservative he keeps all his quirks for Saudia mainly. It was a big part of my adjustment period in the beginning of our marriage... Getting used to all this. That's why I go back home to feel normal and go out when I please and drive and actually be self sufficient (with his credit card ofcourse :) ). Anyway now all this doesn't piss me off at it used to and maybe he's eased up too. And now I sort of thank Allah for my dads conservatism (which like my hubby was also somewhat relative to the situation) cuz I think it prepared me to adjust to all this. If my parents had been really cool and not always up in my business then I'd have a hell of a time trying to make this work.

46

Re: Jealousy

As a woman you should be more concerned about your husband being in proximity of women who are easily attainable for him. Your husband could be surrounded by stunning babes where he works but equally are the chances he wont get to touch them.

47

Re: Jealousy

Young women dont have to be spectacular to have flings with men much more attractive than themselves. (You might have an ego problem with this one)

So men do need to be worried about their wives’ rubbing shoulders with attractive men.

48

Re: Jealousy

That was a wrong thing to say...srsly. You would be surprised how many Non-Desi girls find our guys attractive.

49

Re: Jealousy

Actually, i think its natural, specially in women, and its not anything to do with trust...

50

Re: Jealousy

for those of you who were a little worried about the new girl reporting to my husband at work...turns out she is married with kids and will work from home twice a week :)

51

Re: Jealousy

Bunch of ex-Pakistani's in various stages of westernization trying to cling onto their fast eroding Pakistaniyat.

52

Jealousy

I wouldn't be unless I suspect a change in his behavior or maybe if he talks about her a lot.

53

Re: Jealousy

If you are seriously worried double the garlic in the recipes and make sure the smell of garlic and curry oozes out of his pores and clothes....apparently Garlic is equally effective in warding off leggy blondes and vampires...

54

Re: Jealousy

No worries in the prairies.. negative 20 C no one shows any skin...ha.ha...buried deep in scarves and Parkas ...ehhh.

55

Re: Jealousy

Your statement tells us apparently we’re not missing much…:hehe:

56

No worries in the prairies.. negative 20 C no one shows any skin...ha.ha...buried deep in scarves and Parkas ...ehhh.
[/QUOTE]

Actually now I'm liking this -20 ;) lol

57

Re: Jealousy

I think its not the attractiveness of other men which is dangerous for husbands. Its their language.

Women by nature are not flirts(mostly). If men are keeping wives happy in every sense, then they dont have to worry, as woman will not go and cheat on him (mostly). Only when husbands aren't too attentive, only then these problems arise. So men have to remember this, that only marrying a girl doesnt stop her from cheating on them (mostly it will though), but keep her happy and dont worry about attraction of other men.

58

Re: Jealousy

^

Care to explain why the men, women cheat with, are almost always (way) more attractive than their husbands?

59

Re: Jealousy

Didnt say that. Actually opposite to it. Sorry for bad english. My point is, If men keep their wives happy and dont lose interest in them like most men and are active with them, then their wives will not cheat on them (most of the women) or notice any advancement. Most women only welcome a man's advancement when they lack something on their side. Otherwise they feel happy with their husbands. So in my opinion, only a high category player can seduce a happily married woman. A normal player can't.

So Husbands, who are keeping wives happy, dont need to worry too much about attractiion of other men.

60

Re: Jealousy

^ He does have a point, Uzair. I have heard that often times the women men will cheat with are not better looking than their wives and that what they want is "variety" ...which is interesting considering that men are said to be more visual. I don't know if cheating wives usually get with men better looking their husbands, but being the more emotional gender, they could potentially stray toward someone who is giving them the attention they crave. Kinda like the situation where a girl breaks up with her bf....or is perhaps dealing with turbulence with her significant other.....and becomes drawn to the guy who becomes her shoulder to cry on. There are some guys who will take advantage of a girl's vulnerable state and play the "therapist" ...lend a listening ear....and offer consoling words for their own gains (Disclaimer: not all guys are like that)....but in such scenarios, the woman's emotional needs are being taken advantage of.