I think it is human nature. But there are ways to avoid this situation- for instance, the more we make our private lives public and share it with the REST of the world, then obviously your bound to come across some bad apples as well. But if we try to share our happiness with only people who we know genuinely care for us, then it should not be an issue.
So instead of looking at things the way like why is it he/she jealous of me? I'd rather look at it this way - Why am I even giving this individual an opportunity to even get to know about my joyous moments, as they certainly don't deserve it.
(a bit off topic, mama, but i think you’d enjoy this blog - The Pioneer Woman - Ree Drummond
she left her city job in chicago and moved to a ranch in oklahoma, and it chronicles that and her life now.)
also, jealousy is part of human nature, and everyone indulges in it at some point or the other in their lives. the important thing is to be grateful for what you have, and not let the lack of what you’re jealous of, affect you too much.
I think it is human nature. But there are ways to avoid this situation- for instance, the more we make our private lives public and share it with the REST of the world, then obviously your bound to come across some bad apples as well. But if we try to share our happiness with only people who we know genuinely care for us, then it should not be an issue.
So instead of looking at things the way like why is it he/she jealous of me? I'd rather look at it this way - Why am I even giving this individual an opportunity to even get to know about my joyous moments, as they certainly don't deserve it.
Keep things personal, keep it low-profile.
Agreed, totally agreed
this era in which we are living is such that one shud deal his matters privately instead of publically.
keep ur things private n lead a prosporous life, it emplies over both, ones joys and sorrows. if we'll share our joys publically, ppl get chances of getting jeleous and if we'll share our sorrows wth others, those ill-willers will be happy and will get to kno ones weakness aswell. we only shud share our matters with the ones we knw are real care takers for us.
I wonder what peace of soul they get wen one is stuked in trouble as we can see in tha Star Plus Serials, lolzzz
You’re soo right because there’s always bad nazar as well. You just never know. But how can you keep everything hidden from people- your ‘big’ wedding, cars, houses, kids, etc? Alot of people who are around you see it- you don’t always need to be talking about things that will make people jealous, most of them see this stuff and get all weird. Here, I am speaking about those who know you in real life. It could be someone from your family, your friends, anyone. I have seen aunties sitting at wedding biatching about dulha and dulhan just because they seem to make a better looking pair or that they are well off or something. Same thing with the career- as soon as some people see others with a better job, bam, they just can’t stand someone else being more successful than them. Like Sara516 mentioned above, it’s hard to even compliment someone now because they think you’re saying it out of jealousy
As for here on GS, I see ALOT of people sharing their beautiful wedding outfits, designer jewelry, stories about their successful career or marriage or kids but that doesn’t give me or anyone a right to jump into their faces and act all stupid just because we can’t be happy for them.
In any case (real or online), envy is natural and you can’t always be happy and cheering for what others have but it’s a whole different ballgame when you start attacking them for having something that’s missing from your life. People don’t count their own blessings. Stay jealous if you must but being catty for just that reason is so petty and shallow. It shows what kind of mindset and insecurities those people possess that they just can’t deal with and have to take it out on someone else to make themselves feel better. Quite sad.
Desis i've noticed have a lot of ingrained jealousy issues. i don't know if it's because we as a population especially in pakistan have struggled so much that it is hard to see others happy or what.. i know muslims are generally kind hearted souls but tehre are many pakistanis who have these weird jealousy issues especially when it comes to looks and marriage. it seems like our culture so heavily focuses on looks and marriage that these become things we measure each others success on, if we just remember our Dean and our faith when we get these bouts of jealousy than shaytan cannot come near us. i'A lets all remember to do that!
I also think people do take this "nazar" thing too seriously. Like a child gets sick - oh it was because she was so dressed up yesterday - nazar lag gai ho gi - please it could be a viral.
I don't know - I belive in NAZAR but I am bit too practical. I don't think you nee to show off but you also should share your accomplishments or something you are excited about (your latest shopping spree, karma outfit etc) with friends and family. (without being hestitant)
what is also annoying is that some people are so obsessed wit this stuff that they are willing to point the finger if accusation on anybody right away. like for example if you are a little late in phoning to say mubarak then they start to freak out and think omg look so and so is not happy for us, they are jealous that is why they didn't phone right away and officially say mubarak and they foregt that they did unoficially before.
seriously some pleople are so crazy that they start to think the whole world is after them and that everyone wants to ruin them and in the mix they capture innocent parties also.
please desi people grow up. not everyone in the world is jealous of you guys. or will go so far as to barbaad you. people like these are really so annoying.
it is all due to insecurity. pakistani people are just way too insecure.
either they are jealous of people or trying to sabotage positive events in others lives
or
they aer going crazy trying to make a list of people who are trying to sabotage positive events in their own lives and in doing so ar actuallly sometimes making a hit list of types. like woah. calm down their guys no need to go on a rampage. HAhA.
its true but as of for me i dont got the time and i am ALLHAMDULLILAH very satisfied wit wat Allah has granted me. now its up to me to take it to a higher level. but wen others r happy it shud be a moment to say Mashalah. jealousy is completely ignorance. and for low-lifed ppl who jus want to see others below their ffeet
what is also annoying is that some people are so obsessed wit this stuff that they are willing to point the finger if accusation on anybody right away. like for example if you are a little late in phoning to say mubarak then they start to freak out and think omg look so and so is not happy for us, they are jealous that is why they didn't phone right away and officially say mubarak and they foregt that they did unoficially before.
seriously some pleople are so crazy that they start to think the whole world is after them and that everyone wants to ruin them and in the mix they capture innocent parties also.
please desi people grow up. not everyone in the world is jealous of you guys. or will go so far as to barbaad you. people like these are really so annoying.
it is all due to insecurity. pakistani people are just way too insecure.
either they are jealous of people or trying to sabotage positive events in others lives
or
they aer going crazy trying to make a list of people who are trying to sabotage positive events in their own lives and in doing so ar actuallly sometimes making a hit list of types. like woah. calm down their guys no need to go on a rampage. HAhA.
no but seriously yeah.
you just contradicted yourself in this message so many times its not even funny. needless to say, you have no point.
what is also annoying is that some people are so obsessed wit this stuff that they are willing to point the finger if accusation on anybody right away. like for example if you are a little late in phoning to say mubarak then they start to freak out and think omg look so and so is not happy for us, they are jealous that is why they didn't phone right away and officially say mubarak and they foregt that they did unoficially before.
seriously some pleople are so crazy that they start to think the whole world is after them and that everyone wants to ruin them and in the mix they capture innocent parties also.
please desi people grow up. not everyone in the world is jealous of you guys. or will go so far as to barbaad you. people like these are really so annoying.
it is all due to insecurity. pakistani people are just way too insecure.
either they are jealous of people or trying to sabotage positive events in others lives
or
they aer going crazy trying to make a list of people who are trying to sabotage positive events in their own lives and in doing so ar actuallly sometimes making a hit list of types. like woah. calm down their guys no need to go on a rampage. HAhA.
no but seriously yeah.
Interesting point....
In any case, people DO get jealous of others' happiness and at the same time there is always someone who thinks everyone is jealous when that is certainly not the case; majority of the time, however, it's the former case and not the latter situation...
I really think jealousy needs to be kept in check. When we see ourselves engaging in non-productive behavior...its a sure sign we're headed down the wrong path.
^ i agree with you. BUT i think showing off and boasting wealth when you live in a society with many disadvantaged people is equally distasteful if not more. Pakistani society needs to get rid of showing off there was lovely drama on the topic by ashfaq ahmed i think (old timers will remember fehmeeda ki kahani ustani rahat ki zubani). I have seen many people in pakistan spending enormous amounts of money on decors and rasms and Allah knows what yet when it comes to maids, "oo they are thieves, they take what ever you give them, do not listen to them". While my personal maid made about 4 thousand per month was the age of my grandmother, spent about 1.5 thousand on bus fairs, had kids who ripped her off regularly, seriously how can anyone think they have enough money if they are scrubbing toilet for you without any respect offered by you. Trouble with capitalist society we consider our wealth to be "ours" as a muslims we should always remember that if we have more than some we are suppose to share.
people can't see people prosper or happy..they're full of "hasad" cuz they're not content with their lives. Such people suffer from more than one complex and shud be ignored completely! It's best to recite Surah Falak and protect urself from peoples' "hasad"
if you knew you were jealous about somebody, what steps could you take to get yourself past that? because sometimes its not easy to just be all oh i'm going to go pray. sometimes it stays with you and bothers you... then what?
*SGC, first i would think long and hard about why i am feeling jealous. And then, if i don't know them very well, i'd try to get to know them a bit better.
*
