ok so im bored, but somethings troubling me..i know its kind of sad of me ..but i need to vent, so bare with me.
Ok..so you know when people die..and u know they’r dead, theres nothing you can do…we have no choice in the time of their death (if that makes sense?!). Im old enough to know that people who have died do not come back…
But, somehow, moving on is just..i dunno..so annoying..everybody esle has their mothers and i don’t..
Please dont get me wrong im not looking for pity or anything..but i need her…does that ever go away?..that need for someone you know can’t come back? something that is gone and will never and can never be replaced.
Whenever i see people with their mothers, children and adults..i get this feeling that im missing out. Iv always heard that time helps and with age you’l grow stronger, but now…after a number of years..the feeling just gets worse. Most of the time i feel really stupid for thinking this and i know i probably am, theres children in this world who don’t have parents, children who don’t have anyone.
I know my mother died for a reason..but its just not fair, i wasn’t done with her..who do i turn to in my time of need? who will love me unconditionally without me ever giving anything back?
its really annoying as i know i shouldn’t feel this way, but what do i do?
Miss_Mohabbat its not possible for me to feel your loss, but I hope that Allah gives you the strength to cope with it.It is normal for you to feel that way...because everyday you are reminded that you dont have a mother.
In time...things do get better...the pain doesnt go away...but it lessens.Hope you feel better.
don’t feel bad for feeling the way you feel.
I understand why u put jealousy as the title…you feel jealous that others have hteir mothers and some ppl will complain rite in ur face about them, which unfrotunately i’ve done here…
death isn’t ever fair..i don’t think we cud ever consider ourselves “done” with your parents like you say you weren’t…my amma’s out shopping with my puhpo rite now and Im starting to miss her
i came so close to losing my dad last year, and at the time I never even really appreciated him…in fact I didnt’ start to appreciate him and love him more until a few months ago. now i dont’ know how Ill ever manage without my parents…my grandparents have been dead for over 25 years and my parents still talk about them and I wonder fi ill ever be able to talk about them 50-60 yrs frm now without getting emotional
i can understand this situation.. your mother is the only person in your life who completely understands you, even if you think she isn’t. Allah Paak ke baad ek maa.n hi to hai, jiskey saath hum apney gham aur apni khushiyan baant saktey hain. Sirf ek maa.n ka rishta hi hota hai, jismein koi dikhawey ki baat nahin hoti. Chahey aulaad kitni bhi buri ho.. maa.n hameshaa apni aulaad ko har cheez se zyada chahti hai.
Allah Paak ne aapki ammi ko apney paas bula liya, shayad is se Woh aapkey sabr ko aazmaana chahta hai… Har insaan ne ek din is dunya se uth jana hai… i can talk about this topic for hours.. but i guess.. i would be making you even more sad.. so am stopping right now. Just take good care… and remember.. loog to apni maa.n ki duaon se kaamyaab hotey hain zidagi mein, you are being challenged not to be any less without the dua’s of your mother… (not really without, cuz i’m sure.. wherever she’d be.. she’s be praying for you.. always)
Cheer up!
edited: Allah Paak ager kuch leta hai.. to uskey badley bahut kuch deta bhi hai… and to u.. he gave u the strength and sabr to accept the loss of your mother.. something which is very hard, and takes many years for some people. U have the tears, but also the understanding
Time eases it but situations need to change too. Have you any job that makes you busy like crazy? If you are short of time and dont find time to sleep, you forget so many things to miss. Marriage again takes you out of this and puts you in other kinds of worries. Loss of dear ones is not easy to bear with and dont expect that missing them would be gone away like it never was. Even when you will be mom yourself, you will miss your mom. The best way to comfort yourself is to pray for her eachtime you miss her, be it 24/24 hours.
PS:- Tilte should be somewhat related to missing. Its neither jealusy nor stupidity.
Please don't feel bad for me guys, i know my mothers in a much better place than one could ever imagine.
im just having a bad day and wanted to..vent..i guess.
Muslim_Queen..the pain i dont think ever lessens..iv been waiting and its yet to come, in fact...its worse..the more i seem to achive in my life, the more independent i become, the more i feel the need for her...im feel so selfish..Allah Tala has mashallah provided me with a good (sometimes annoying) family and i have health, but it feels like these are not good enough.
Sara516..i dont know about death not being fair as i knew my mother would die 1 day or another...whats not fair is way her death has made me feel...i thought i would and could get through it, i was ready for it.
Bhatakti Rooh..erm...it was kinda hard for me to read what u wrote..im not good with urdu...but i think i understood your point..this challenge ..iv accepted it...but every now and then..i dont want it and i dont know how to deal with it
well.. ya.. my english isn’t that wonderful to express myzelf completely in english, that’s why i fall back on urdu. anyhow, you got my point.. so.. i’d wish u all the best in the future.. and yes.. like Aijaz said, try to keep urself as busy as possible, so that u won’t have any time to think seriously about her.. cuz when u’d be busy, she’d never appear in your thoughts so suddenly, which would make you emotionally weak. i’m not telling u to just forget her, that’s just impossible for any1… nor could any1 ever do it… but what i mean to say is that if u’d think about this all now and then with the intention to think about it, u’d be able to control your emotions and u’d learn how to deal with it.
I can totally understand your situation.. would you believe that I get jealous of my sis that my dad was here for her graduation, her marriage, and then also he played with one of her sons.. BUT I am going to miss all these chances since my dad passed away when I started my college.. its like my dad won't be there to see any of my success, happiness, or be there with me when I need him.
As they say, life goes on but it leaves marks on our hearts that stay there forever and I can totally imagine what you go through when you see your firends with thrie moms and so on.. I stopped going to my friend's place because I didn't want to see anyone's dad, I also stopped talking to my friends who were close to their dads because I always felt left out since all I had were memories of 18 yrs and thats it..Sometimes, I have this feeling that he is still in Pakistan, waiting for me to come back, since I was unable to make to his funeral so I never saw him in his last moments, thus I still have his happy face and also tears in his eyes when he hugged me at the airport and told me he will be here in the States for my Award Ceremony, that he wasn't able to make through it.. As they say, good ppl are needed more up there in heaven than here, so may be its true.. I have heard that, they feel good when angels take our duwas to them, thus tyr to make as much duwa as possible for your mom and believe me it will not only warm your heart but would also bring smile to your face.
I dunno if I made any sense or not but I was due venting too and hope you can understand that we all go through this phase that is quite normal. :-)
it’s a tough one dis’ dealing with a loss especially of a loved one. god forbid but if anything was to happen to my ammi hazoor i don’t know what i’d do, my beloved mam, bro and sis r all i have in this world. don’t know if advice will help in this situation even the best of remedies don’t work, just keep your chin up may allah help you is all i can say.
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*Originally posted by Gemini the Great: *
I can totally understand your situation.. would you believe that I get jealous of my sis that my dad was here for her graduation, her marriage, and then also he played with one of her sons.. BUT I am going to miss all these chances since my dad passed away when I started my college.. its like my dad won't be there to see any of my success, happiness, or be there with me when I need him.
As they say, life goes on but it leaves marks on our hearts that stay there forever and I can totally imagine what you go through when you see your firends with thrie moms and so on.. I stopped going to my friend's place because I didn't want to see anyone's dad, I also stopped talking to my friends who were close to their dads because I always felt left out since all I had were memories of 18 yrs and thats it..Sometimes, I have this feeling that he is still in Pakistan, waiting for me to come back, since I was unable to make to his funeral so I never saw him in his last moments, thus I still have his happy face and also tears in his eyes when he hugged me at the airport and told me he will be here in the States for my Award Ceremony, that he wasn't able to make through it.. As they say, good ppl are needed more up there in heaven than here, so may be its true.. I have heard that, they feel good when angels take our duwas to them, thus tyr to make as much duwa as possible for your mom and believe me it will not only warm your heart but would also bring smile to your face.
I dunno if I made any sense or not but I was due venting too and hope you can understand that we all go through this phase that is quite normal. :-)
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I can relate to what your saying..it is a phase, this whole jealousy thing...but its not the "big" things that trigger me off. My mother wasn't at my graduation and i got through that at ok, i think im even ok about the fact that she won't be at my wedding (god forbid i ever get married).
My problem is everyday life, that feeling of coming home from having the worst day ever and needing somone to say its ok, someone who won't pity, understand or symthaise, someone who will just be there no matter what. That's what mothers do, dont they?
