Jealousy

Lifestyle Relationships
1

Jealous – resentfulness or bitterness in rivalry; fearful or wary of being supplanted; apprehensive of losing affection or position

My question is, why would someone that seemingly has everything, be jealous of someone else? I was told the other day by a relative of mine that someone I know doesn’t like me at all. He had first hand knowledge of this other girls feelings.

I’ve often heard the phrase, “you have nothing that I’d be jealous of”, as if to suggest that there are a list of things that if one has them, other people may have the right to be jealous of them. What are those “things” that make people feel jealous towards others?

The situation with this person whom I have just found out about is this. Mash’Allah, she has a husband she is happy with, children, a career that many people are envious of, a big house, a nice car, a family that loves her, a group of friends that she regularly invites over, etc. Yet she hates me. For what? I don’t have a husband, no children yet, no career, no big house, a regular car, a family that I adore and a few friends (Mash’Allah). What is there to be jealous of?

I just find it mind boggling that people come up with things to be jealous of other people about. I know it exists, I know that I am sometimes envious of people who pray regularly, but I don’t feel threatened by them, I rather look to them as inspiriation to want to better myself. I am not resentful towards them. I have my flaws sure, but I don’t believe I am jealous of anyone that I know or even don’t know.

Do you feel jealousy towards others? If you do, why? Are there people you are jealous of and you dont know why? I can understand how people may be envious of others, especially when they dont have food for example, but someone who seemingly has everything, to be jealous, just doesnt make sense to me.

2

I don't feel jealous but I do have "rashk" (admiration) for people who have achieved a lot (meaningful) in their lives. I just wish that I could be more like that. I think jealousy is such a horrible feeling. I can't imagine spending my days burning over someone elses' posessions.

3

Munni

dislike is not jealousy.. you do not have to be jealous of someone to dislike them.

I mean if i dislike someone and they tell me I am just jealous, my response would probably be that there is no jealousy...or said in a different way, their is nothing for me to jealous about.

so that cleared up..what are the "things" that make others jealous, well they could be anything and everything...career, terms with family, popularity, intelligence, personality, looks..etc etc.

4

munni- I definitely know what you mean.

I really don't understand people like that either! They have everything yet are bitter towards you!? And usually they tend to complain about everything as well!

I guess some people are just never happy?

5

what a troublesome thread....

6

I don’t …so far No…but recently I did come across a person who happens to be my cousin acting wierdly towards me. Its mind boggling 'cuz she is younger then me, pretty unlike me, earns quite a handsome amt and has a mahraniyoon jaisa lifestyle and she has been like a younger sis to me. Now I know I am going to her place in UAE and that kills me coz she avoids me for no reason, calls me budhi lol infront of others yet had the audacity to ask me to bring CDs for her … :hoonh: I mean I never have ill feelings for anyone but people do somehow have problems…
khair, for once i was hurt but then oh well :slight_smile:

7

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Fraudz: *
Munni

dislike is not jealousy.. you do not have to be jealous of someone to dislike them.

I mean if i dislike someone and they tell me I am just jealous, my response would probably be that there is no jealousy...or said in a different way, their is nothing for me to jealous about.

so that cleared up..what are the "things" that make others jealous, well they could be anything and everything...career, terms with family, popularity, intelligence, personality, looks..etc etc.
[/QUOTE]

The thing is, the person who told me this said, "she is jealous of you and she hates you". He didnt want to go into detail on what the causes might be. Just wanted to "warn" me. sigh

Considering she feels she has all those things you listed that people can get jealous about, I dont see what there is to be jealous about. It isnt cause she thinks I'm pretty, cause she doesnt think I am, from what I have heard from her.

Minerva, yeah, its just difficult to figure it out, and I know that if I asked her she would be completely offended that I even asked, eventhough she has made it obvious she doesnt like me. sigh

I just dont see what the jealousy is about. Are people who are jealous, not want you to have the success you may have? What do they get out of it? Does it make ones life better to have jealousy in their lives?

8

Munni, I know where you are coming from... :--) Envious, umm never and jealous as I said before, never felt it so far towards anyone. Maybe its some kind of inferiority complex that person has...dunno.
And I would never ask her or clariy with her about it. I can give up my self respect/ego for someone I care for be it a friend or relative.I don't mind going at lenght to know what is it that I ever said to anyone or that offended someone but hey not in this case...

9

Re: Jealousy

Munni,

You will always come across people in this world who are just not nice. And although you can make a lot of excuses for them, at the end of the day you can't do that at the expense of your own feelings. Fine, some people don't like me and some do, but to start worrying about what other people think is a snowball of negative thoughts because you can never make everyone happy.

Jealousy is a natural negative feeling but we should remember that shaytan plays on the weaknesses of people, some people are not as bothered about other people's achievements as others and hence perhaps the best thing to do is to say Aoodubillah if you do feel it and also recite the 3 Quls to protect yourself from the evil eye.

I'll be honest, I do feel jealous when I see someone doing a good deed, I feel that I should be doing something better than them. I also feel very very jealous when it comes to girls especially when I care about her a lot.

[QUOTE]
*Originally posted by Munni: *
Jealous – resentfulness or bitterness in rivalry; fearful or wary of being supplanted; apprehensive of losing affection or position

My question is, why would someone that seemingly has everything, be jealous of someone else? I was told the other day by a relative of mine that someone I know doesn’t like me at all. He had first hand knowledge of this other girls feelings.

I’ve often heard the phrase, “you have nothing that I’d be jealous of”, as if to suggest that there are a list of things that if one has them, other people may have the right to be jealous of them. What are those “things” that make people feel jealous towards others?

The situation with this person whom I have just found out about is this. Mash’Allah, she has a husband she is happy with, children, a career that many people are envious of, a big house, a nice car, a family that loves her, a group of friends that she regularly invites over, etc. Yet she hates me. For what? I don’t have a husband, no children yet, no career, no big house, a regular car, a family that I adore and a few friends (Mash’Allah). What is there to be jealous of?

I just find it mind boggling that people come up with things to be jealous of other people about. I know it exists, I know that I am sometimes envious of people who pray regularly, but I don’t feel threatened by them, I rather look to them as inspiriation to want to better myself. I am not resentful towards them. I have my flaws sure, but I don’t believe I am jealous of anyone that I know or even don’t know.

Do you feel jealousy towards others? If you do, why? Are there people you are jealous of and you dont know why? I can understand how people may be envious of others, especially when they dont have food for example, but someone who seemingly has everything, to be jealous, just doesnt make sense to me.
[/QUOTE]

10

Munni I have learnt about jealousy the hard way. I always wonder why people need to be jealous of others, especially of me. I really feel as though I have nothing most girls would want. But the other day a close friend, after discussing with a friend why a certain group of people are resentful of me, he told me that theyre jealous of my innocence and kind-heartedness. Isnt that strange? I was shocked. Im usually a very warm, receptive person, get along with everyone and yes Im very naive too. I never thought people would be jealous of that. Apne aap per nazar ki dua parha karo.