jealousy - HASAD

Society Religion & Philosophy
1

asak

i request u to plz not judge me for this… :frowning: i am posting this only for islamic advice…it took a lot of strength for me to post this so plzzz take it easy on ur replies pplz :bummer:

for a long time i didn’t admit it to myself, but i realise that i am really jealous of this girl i know :bummer:

i really hate feeling like that.

i know its evil of me to be like this :teary2:

alhamdulillah i have never done anything to harm her even though i had opportunities. in fact some of the major things in her life were kind of in my hands and i didn’t let myself ever do anything and i have always gone an extra mile to prevent myself from ever letting shaitan rule over me and make me do anything evil to her.

i talk to her normally and everything. and i have tried to give myself logical arguments each time but then every time i face the girl i feel terrible :bummer: like lose all self confidence totally :bummer:

i dont know what to do :crying: i have tried so much to overcome this feeling. i have prayed to Allah swt to rid me of this dirty feeling but it just keeps living in my mind forever.

we used to have a very intense relationship n she is the ONLY person in the world towards whom i feel like this :bummer:

yes there are two things that she has that i really wish i had… :frowning: but i try to tell myself i am being a nashukri and i shud not feel like this i shud be thankful for what i have…

is there some Islamic duas that i can read. i have heard surah-al-falaq…and i do recite it often…

but other than that is there some islamic essays, advice, ayah’s, ahadith on this topic? would really appreciate some guidance…

jazakallah…

2

well, you start of wrongly.

first of all, you have to realize that jeaousy is nothing else than a NORMAL human feeling. so no need to feel guilty about it. Actually it will be helpful for you to realize when and that you are feeling jealous.

now, the second point (which i think you've done quite well so far)........after you have come to the realization of this feeling, ur priority should be to take control of this feeling and not letting it control you. And as you say u have managed quite well.
it's not use to forcefully try to push this feeling out of ur mind, cuz it won't work.
It is better to come to the realization of the jealousy......then ANALYZE it! what makes you jealous, when do u get this feeling........and then try to make urself better, by u urself getting competent in that field, or strive that extra bit harder to get to the same level

:)

3

Irem u are extreemly Generic. Please be a little more specific....What were the motives behind ur jealousy. It might give us the insight......may be u r more human then u want to be :)

4

ness bhai and PKC bhai thanks for ur replies :slight_smile: and thanks for not thinking i’m evil :bummer:

hmmm…those things that i am jealous of her for r like…ummm…i cant say what they r :crying:

ok i’ll tell u one of them…

but yeh sometimes i feel like ppl whom i really really like like her more than me :bummer: that makes me hecka jealous

and the other thing i can’t tell u :crying:

5

:), Like Nessie said, jealousy is human.

and u are always jealous on this girl, yet she s a close friend of u.
Think bout it. Why are u friends with her? She must have something which makes u both friends, and jealousy often comes when (atleast thats what I think) if people (nazaar na hona, didnt mean to say anything offending) become more materialistic. :)
I cant give u any advice, cuz I also feel sometimes envy, but if others have more/better then me, I am (u should try it too ) happy for them,
cuz there are always less fortunate peeple then me.

6

I think we all have felt/will feel jealousy and envy at some point in our lives, dont feel sad about it, just realize a few things from it.

As others have stated, look at the root of it. Okay so you dont like that some ppl like her more than like you. Now think about why it is important for ppl to like you. Think about your friends whom you like over other friends. Should your friends feel jealous because you prefer the company of one over the other? Do you do it out of unfairness to like one friend more than another? Or is just because there may be more common things, etc.

If you feel she is a good person and you are not, then strive to take on her good qualities, but dont strive to be her. Assess the qualities she has that you envy. Do you want to do things to be liked or to be a better person? Do you do it to seek the attention she has or to lead a better life? What are your motives?

There is a hadith that states something like this: If man is going to be envious of someone for something, then be envious of two things only. One is the person with religious knowledge who strives hard to please Allah with it, and the second is the person who has wealth who strives hard to spend it in Allah's way.

Take a lesson from that. And realize that jealousy does hurt others. You stated that you have never done anything to hurt her, but infact you have, and I have when I felt jealous, etc, we all have. Thats why we ask Allah to protect us against Nazar and jealousy, etc. It may be unintentional, but its still there. Focus on what you want to achieve, and what qualities you want to steer away from. Its possibly a lifelong struggle, it doesnt just go away in a snap.

But dont feel bad, because Allah also says that if He gave to man what he truly deserved for his sins, no man would be left on earth, not the girl u know, not me, not you, nobody. Allah is Most Merciful, Oft-Forgiving. Remember that. smile

7

don't know about ahmedee but guru nanak dev ji is a holy man he is brialliant with great views on islam a true saint

8

Pra bhai thx 4 the reply :slight_smile: u r right materialism does play some role in this…and u r rite v shud look at less fortunate ppl :k: thx bro :slight_smile:

Munni :hug: thanks so much sis, your reply was so insightful and helpful and encouraging and u r so right… thanks :hug:

9

oops :biggrin: wrong thread bro :hehe: but welcome to the thread anyways :biggrin:

10

^ Must have been Munni’s long post.:hehe:

11

[quote]
yes there are two things that she has that i really wish i had
[/quote]

..hehe... sowwy.. i'll resist..

12

^ :nono1:

13

PA and kenny - haynji??? :( plz say itttt :( what r u thinking??? :(

14

Don't hate the player...hate the game.

15

haan uskeh uppuer kala jadoo kurna lol,
jealousy aik cheez hotee heh or envy kuch or, u just envy what she has which leads to hate, which in turn turns a heart black. Jub aap koh sumuj aah jaye geeh that the things u envy her for have no real meaning, coz we r here for all a little time on a journey then inshAllah kyun nhay aap kee feelings chulee jayn geeh, but the only way those feelings will go is when u accept that what u envy her for has absolutely no importance to our whole existance as muslims.

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i was about to state that hadith:-) thanks for sharing:flower1: ALL said and well said by ﻡﻼﮑﻟﺍ ﻊﻣﺎﺟ Hadrat Muhammad sallallaho Aleyhey wassallam and his words suffice enough to get your hearts find satisfaction:flower1: rather than long reasoning of common sense …

17

gadha bhai - jazakallah :k:

baba-jee - thanks…u r so right…i will try to remind myself of that fact next time inshallah :k:

Chaltahai ji - thanks…i’ll try :k: