SO the time has come again, today was alevels results in the uk, next week gcse, and generally most results come out this time of year.
does ANYONE have relatives who get jealous when you tell them your results, or pretend not to care, or hype up their own kids results to compete with yours…
there are some people/relatives who are genuinly pleased, and some just get bitter and say haan to pass hi hona hai, fail to aaj kal banda ho hi nahi sakta…this was my aunts response when my mother told her my brother had got 4 Bs At alevel, her own daughter got Cs, and sh said meri beti ka college itna sakht hai na, kay mushkil say kise nai A liya ho, sub nai C hi liye hai…
Not only confined to grades and test scores. You'll see people compete and get jealous over all sorts of things. And just because they're your relatives doesn't make them immune to jealousy.
I don't ask people what grades or scores they got....how much they make...etc. I don't reveal personal information about myself. Nadz, you can label the aunti as "bitter"..."jealous"..."taiz".............but your own mother did not have to share or volunteer your brother's results. Why didn't you think of that? There are a million topics under the sun to talk about....why even bring it up? You can argue that...well it's that time of the year when grades are known...so people talk about it. Okay, fine....but a conversation can be redirected. One can jokingly or cheefully say...."Choro results ko, acha ho ya bura...kuch kiya to nahin jaa sakta.....let's talk about a more fun topic....did you see this or that show on TV, etc." A comment/redirection like that gives NO indication whether your own child did good or bad.......and it changes the topic....so the other person doesn't feel awkward or compelled (out of insecurity) to fabricate their own child's score as a way to "outdo" you.
I think the worst consequence of these type of unnecessary and even nosy conversations.........is that the parents go home and then put their kids down for not doing as well as Aunti so n so's daughter, Pinky..and son, Bunty. It can be detrimental to self-esteem and can build resentment.
My mom might share that someone got admission into college...or got a new job.....etc. But she tends to stay away from numbers (scores, salaries, etc). Even if a relative/aunti mentions scores or salary to my mom..............she'll wish them well........and not volunteer any numbers from her own side. And she doesn't care if the other person (who is a relative) is left hanging. This can (to an extent) even lead to a decrease in competitive discussions as they're not being fueled.
My mom might share that someone got admission into college...or got a new job.....etc. But she tends to stay away from numbers (scores, salaries, etc). And if the other person isn't bringing it up.......then you don't have to either. And if they do bring it up or ask a nosy question....then you can give a tactful response that lets them know you don't particularly want to fuel or pursue this type of discussion.
I disagree with you for once RV. my mum only told her direct relatives, such as my chachus and mammus.....and most are pleased to hear. why not, we talk so much drivel/gossip BS most of our lives, that something like an achievement like this should be mentioned. if people are bitter, its ridiculous, i would be over the moon if my niece/nephew got good grades, telling someone grades is different from telling someone your salary..jeez, cant win. if you pass, naturally someone asks grades. if you dont mention results, people assume you failed. and no one will stop me atleast informing people of my siblings results, they can be bitter all they want....
I hate it when this happens and this is not just limited to A level or IGCSE/GCSE results. Comparing how well children are doing in University or in general life wise and such things. Happens.
Nadz, I overall am private about such details. I should have also added that it can depend upon the attitude that your relatives display. If they usually display their unhappiness at your success, then I think it's better to avoid both starting and fueling such topics that would send them into a tizzy (thanks Partyslims for that hilarious word).
For example, I have cousins who are really bright....but they've never brought up their grades and neither have I. I've never asked. I'd be happy for them if they shared with me. As far as my sharing is concerned......I feel more comfortable doing that with relatives I feel can be happy for me. Unfortunately, sometimes...there may not be many of those.
