Meaning, I have access to the accounts...I know everything that is in there...he doesn't get direct deposit so I'm the one going to the bank adn depositing the checks. I "pay" the bills when they come.
However, that doesnt mean that I am just "free" to spend however the heck I want whenever I want. There's trust on both ends.
i got jaib kharch until i found a job...n now he assumes that just cuz i'm earning on my own i don't want a piece of his earnings too! hmph! thankfully i only do fazool kharchi with my money n the rest goes directly into our combined savings :)
another question for the ladies who DO have joint accounts with husbands...
in addition to the savings n checkings that your husband can see, do you have a secret stash or a separate savings account that hubby doesn't know of, or if he does, has no control over? i've always heard women saying how they should always save a lil on the side from their "jaib kharch" and not let hubby know. that savings is supposedly for emergencies.
now, i guess that makes sense if hubby has full control over the banks and only gives you a little each month out of his own accord, but is it OK for a woman to have an emergency fund even if hubby shares 100% of his earnings with you in the form of a joint account? especially if woman is earning on her own? i mean, i guess this is supposed to be for times when he divorces you out of the blue or leaves without a warning? idk. it feels like that may be helpful in pakistan but overseas a woman has more than enough legal protection in case of divorce so i'd assume there's no need for secret savings???
now when I say Control, she has access to all accounts (Bank and otherwise), she is authorized person to make changes. She has logins/password for online account management but that does not mean she think of it as "mal-e-muft, dil-e-be-rehem". When she was working, her pay also used to go to joint account. We never had "tairey paisey, mairey paisey" fights/discussion
Control (by wife or husband) should not be taken as someone "approving" the expenses and every $ has to pass through him/her. In fact in my opinion, control is a wrong word to use here. More appropriate word should be "involvement".
We both know our finances, we both do big expense by mutual consent and she gets jaib-khurch on top of it.
we usually have a set budget for both of us in our accounts. I have general idea how much i can spend on myself and so does he so there is no need to ask each other for money.