Jahaiz

Lifestyle Wedding, Fashion & Beauty
1
  1. What exactly is jahaiz? What is included in it?
  2. Why does a man who is ready for marriage need freebies from his wife’s family?
  3. Is it a social evil?
2

Re: Jahaiz

They still ask for jahiaz? Like for real? I thought jahaiz is what a girl's parents wish to give her on their personal will.

3

Re: Jahaiz

Jahaiz is a so-called gift given by the girls parents to their daughter. I say so-called because it is always expected and even some very educated people get their panties in a twist if there is no or less than expected jahaiz.

Also denotes the social class of the girl's family. Often, girls do not inherit anything from their parents because the reasoning goes that she has received her share as jahaiz.

In some cases, lack of or less than expected jahaiz can lead to the girl being abused by her in-laws and sometimes, even divorced.

Now you decide whether its a social evil or not :)

4

Re: Jahaiz

stuff used to bolster the worth of a bride in a society where her socio-economic value just by herself is less than that of the groom.

5

Re: Jahaiz

like IceSoul stated, its referred as gifts for the girl from her parents. but in some middle class, and (possible elite class as well), the groom's side actually asks for what should be included in the jahaiz, like bike, car, tv etc... so its more of a benefit to the groom than the bride herself.
i would say its a social evil bcuz not having proper or enough jahaiz can lead to the bride being divorced, beat and/or killed by her in laws. what i don;t understand is why a family, who actually has every naimat needed, still asks for jahaiz....god help!!!

6

Re: Jahaiz

is jahaiz (dahaij) a hindu cultural thing? i dont think there is any such thing as jahaiz in islam??? right??? :confused:

7

Re: Jahaiz

Uh huh, absolutely correct. Jahaiz is something that South-Asian Muslims have adopted from the Hindu culture. Islam has absolutely no concept of dowry. That is not to say that Islam has not made financial arrangements for the woman but this is in the shape of Mahr - a gift that she receives from her husband - and that is clearly stated in her Nikkah contract - and that is solely hers unless she desires otherwise.

8

Re: Jahaiz

That is so messed up :mad:

9

Re: Jahaiz

THERE you go people!! seriously follow ISLAM your religion, and not culture, culture will S_CREW you in this life and after so no point :D poeple who bring jahaiz and people who dont ALL have a problem, its because there is probably NO barakat in the whole thing! ive heard people being sent back home on the second day because somthing didnt arrive in their jahaiz....MAY Allah give such people hidayat...AMEEN!

10

Re: Jahaiz

As we all know, there is no dowry in Islam. I think jahaiz tries to get away with being gifts for the bride for her family. In previous generations, I can see this as being acceptable even from a religious point of view. People did not have so much 'stuff', what they did have would last them their life time and women were generally not independent so had no means to buy their own things.

So from this perspective, it is understandable that things were given. Things to furnish the house with, dishes, gold jewellery (often a woman's wedding jewellery would be the only significant jewellery she'd own), clothes (from what I can tell, since nice fabrics were expensive, loose fabrics were gifted in jahaiz so the bride could use them later down the line) etc.

Now, for many families, it is also things given to the groom's side. The furniture does not just furnish the bride's bedroom but you see the groom's parents getting new furniture for their house, new appliances. As mentioned, in some cases a car is given.

11

Re: Jahaiz

it's a social evil.. that's all!! and we got it from Hindus since there is no concept of inheritance for woman hence the jahaiz!!

Does it still happen? oh yeah, there are competitions between bahus about the amount of stuff that one brings and not to mention there will be no room in the house but still the whole furniture is given!!

i didnt get the typical jahaiz, my mom is strongly against it and so am I, but she did give me clothes and jewelry as a shadi gift!!My in laws were totally okay with it and never said a word.. at least not infront of me :D

12

Re: Jahaiz

^Tell me about it. The parents of the wife of my husband's brother (he's the eldest) gave her bedroom furniture, a TV, dining room and living room furniture (all by the way, FAR too large for any normal sized house/rooms). So now all that is in my in-laws place. My BIL did not have his own place at that time AND they were not living with my in-laws (my BIL who's in the army was posted somewhere different every few months but he has been giving a house now), so really there was no need to even give any of this as jahaiz as they knew she wouldn't use it herself. To everyone else at least, it looks like they were trying to put their daughter's stamp in the family house.

13

Re: Jahaiz

it is a social evil in my eyes

my cousins in pak can't get married without a furneechar ka set and kambal and janay kya kya

i didn't take anything with me nor will i in the future

14

Re: Jahaiz

So a lot of it has to do with families of the brides encouraging it…some out of fear and some out of show off.

The first jahaiz transaction in our family [besides the usual clothing and jewlery to the daughter] was for my mamu’s daughter. All my khalas and younger mamu joined hands and give her a ton of stuff such as washing machine, microwave, furniture, refrigerator, etc. Reason was that my mumani had given taunty hidden messages that it’s the first “potee’s” wedding in the family so it should be big and all the well off khalas should participate :rolleyes:. What was even weirder is that the groom, who has a very respectable job in a multinational company in New Delhi didn’t even say once that he felt odd receiving that stuff.

15

Re: Jahaiz

^^ why would he? he was getting a bride and a brand new fridge freezer!!!! its better than any tv game show :D

16

Re: Jahaiz

LOL true :D

17

Re: Jahaiz

a couple of weeks before my wedding, i was calling moving companies to schedule/coordinate picking up my hubby's stuff from his bachelor's pad & my stuff from my mom's house to take to our new apartment, and my mom started getting nervous about me taking my bedroom set (it was a queen sized that I took over when my mom got herself a new bedroom set)...she was like "aisa karte hain, ke tumhay nayaa dilaade they hain..kaheen tumhari susraal waale buraa to nahin maanay, ke tum apna purana bistar laari ho"...now mind you, my husband had been living on his own for six years, his mom was in khi, and an older brother and bhabi in the same city we were, but living seperately...i told her in no uncertain terms that he and i would buy whatever we wanted ourselves....sure enough, when we got back from our honeymoon, and my jetani came over to our new apartment for the first time, she peeked into my bedroom and said "ye tho wohi purana furniture hai tumhare ammi ke ghar say....humaray haan to buraa manejata hai agar larki kuch purana laiye maika se..." so my husband pipes and tells his bhabi..."shaiyad aap bhoolrahi hain ke aap ke husband ki family main, yaani ke AAPKE susraal main, istara nahi bahu se bathameeze sai baat karna buraa manejata hai..agar aap ko mera bistar pasand nahin he, aap waapis apne ghar jaake apne bistar main so jain..." LMAO!!!! That shut the churail up for good.....

18

Re: Jahaiz

^ lmao to above!!!!!!!!!!

I was really unaware to the whole "jahaiz" thing until I got got engaged... living in america in this day and age i thought the concept was crazy.

I'm anti-gift giving of any sort in general during the shaadi time..... whether its engagement, baat paki, etc. - though I am sure there is some good will in it, and some people even truly mean well .... I think there is definitely reasons of pleasing and a fear of being looked down upon as "not living upto some made up expectations" behind it all.

I did not get anything too crazy for my jahaiz... but even what I got I think was too much and unnecessary. It was completely unnecessary effort, and expense for my family. It took my relatives in pakistan, my mom's organization and planning, and my fathers wallet to deal with it. I felt bad for all of them. Even though I got personal belonging type items ... do I really need 21 new suits? 9 sarees? multiple pairs of heels to match? multiple clutches? Luggage set? Gold Jewelry???? Especially living in America? Most of my gifted items are packed away or hanging in a closet or in a safe right now. Unused. But when I think of my family's effort of getting it all together and my fathers expense... it makes me so sad. :( Isn't paying for a shaadi enough? Isn't giving away your daughter enough?

And even though during my parents marriage, my father literally said no to any gift and gave back everything that was given to him. "You have given me your daughter..that is enough" he had said... we did not continue this tradition now?!

My parents gifted my hubby many personal belonging type of gifts as well. All appreciated... but in my opinion ... still unnecessary.

I think the reason why my father was able to say "NO" to Jahaiz gifts was because he did not have any parents ...therefore no expectations and no one to please. Plus no drama for even "saying no". Sometimes its easier to just go with the flow because you (as in the guy) do not want to cause world war three in his family by going against the grain at the start of the marriage...

Too many expectations in our culture.... Jahaiz = pure social evil .