Re: Jahaiz (dowry) aik la'nat hai?
Fayz, they didnt know there was gonna be so much stuff until they actually had to carry it upstairs to the chaaht (thas where their room was built).
Re: Jahaiz (dowry) aik la'nat hai?
Jahaiz is only a lanat when people go overboard and give beyond their means. It becomes a laanat when it is to show others what you are giving or when it is asked for by the groom's side. I think there is nothing wrong with giving your daughter/sister as much as you can afford.
When my sister got married we were told not to give her any furniture or other items of household use as mashallah they had plenty. My mother still gave her a lot of jewellery and clothes and my father gave her cash and a plot of land in Karachi that he bought for her. It all was on paper and in the bank, nobody, even her susraal knew what we gave her and no one, to my knowledge, ever asked. It was her deserving share of what we had as a family and we gave it to her when she was leaving our house rather than later. What is so wrong with that? It will only help her and her husband to start a successful life. Jewellery and clothes are for her personal use and were not overly extravagent.
As far as Arabian jahez is concerned, it is worse. First of all the money that the guy pays goes to the brides father. And the girl does bring jahez with her as well, call it gifts or anything else it is still the same. I have heard that UAE government pays 100% money to a guy for the first marriage and 40% for the second one, but dont quote me as it could be false.
Mehr is a islamic custom and is followed by all muslims.
Re: Jahaiz (dowry) aik la'nat hai?
^ the jahez with Arabs goes towards the brides clothes, parties, and etc.....
Re: Jahaiz (dowry) aik la'nat hai?
All million dirhams of it? I have attended a few arab weddings Majestic and I have not seen anything really so lavish to justify the amount the groom had to pay, it was ridiculous. Also if that was the case then why are younger, prettier girls higher priced?
Re: Jahaiz (dowry) aik la'nat hai?
all I'm saying is not all of them are like that
Re: Jahaiz (dowry) aik la'nat hai?
Ok Majestic, I wasn't trying to flame any arabs either, just quoting my experiences. I am sure not all Arabs like that.
Re: Jahaiz (dowry) aik la'nat hai?
it hasnt been discussed in my fam yet... hmm what a frightening thought. All of us are gonna be bankrupt by the time we go to pak and come back here...
b/w isnt it cute that the couple get all these "neccessities" together rather than the girls parents choose for them? plus, if u dont have a place (like moi) where are u gonna store all this jahez wahez?
Re: Jahaiz (dowry) aik la'nat hai?
Sadzzz, discuss it with your hubby-to-be and then talk to your parents and get cash if it is no problem.
Re: Jahaiz (dowry) aik la'nat hai?
^ yeah... we shall Inshallah. Both of us would like to do it on our own... buy our own things together. I think that whole "no boxed gifts" idea on invitations isnt too bad.. i know it sounds stingy and all, but its better than getting 10 toasters
b/w has anyone ever considered bridal registery? that doesnt go down too well with the desi community either... although, i believe thats such a help!
Re: Jahaiz (dowry) aik la'nat hai?
^ dont worry.. desis aren't into toasters etc in pakistan. u'll either get cash or jewelry. which is good either way.
Re: Jahaiz (dowry) aik la'nat hai?
aah i dont want jewelerry.. id make no use of it. It'd prob rot in my cupboard.. money is always good :)
Re: Jahaiz (dowry) aik la’nat hai?
I’m not saying anything. I know what you mean, but do you know that those girls go wedding shopping in Paris? Their wedding dresses range around $10,000+, and choose expensive jewelry and thigns like that. I understand your experience, I myself am already looking to get a designer dress made by some lebenese designer.
Re: Jahaiz (dowry) aik la'nat hai?
Suroor, you are talking about salamis, I thought sadzzz wanted cash instead of jahez.
What is the going rate for salamis in Pakistan? And another question, why do people add a rupee, like my mother will always give 1001 or 5001, or 101. What is the extra rupee for?
Re: Jahaiz (dowry) aik la'nat hai?
^ It started off with amounts like Rs 101.25 as supposedly with such an odd number, the money will never end and will have endless barkat. Aagay aap khud samajhdaar hein.
Re: Jahaiz (dowry) aik la'nat hai?
^ lol whats the extra 1 for?
Re: Jahaiz (dowry) aik la'nat hai?
some of my friends had bridal registeries but it didn't work too well with the desis - everyone ended up giving them cash anyway. it's the easiest gift to give. then there are those people who like to recycle gifts. i got a few stuff that i found were broken upon closer examination.
Re: Jahaiz (dowry) aik la'nat hai?
Hmm bridal registry, havent given it much thought. Most of the folks attending our wedding is going to be close family InshaAllah so i am guessing its going to be mostly money as gift. Thats how it was on the mangni atleast. And i think tahts the best option so we can use it to buy stuff around the house, or contribute towards our car etc etc.
Re: Jahaiz (dowry) aik la'nat hai?
^ ohhh, a cute family wedding (its prob gonna be huge anyways) but thats what i want.
so when my cousin (girl) got married they had methai, clothes n jewlery always being sent over. n they had a bunch of stuff like that for my khala too. is that jahaiz??
any ways i was reading other posts. i think its disgusting to ask for stuff, if your rich they want you to get them stuff, if your poor they dont wanna marry you.
why cant pakis have backyard weddings w/ less than 100 ppl.
Re: Jahaiz (dowry) aik la'nat hai?
sara, coz all the neighbors, matchmakers, cousin's wife's brother's coworkers' bachpan kay dost will all be pissed if u don't invite them ...
Re: Jahaiz (dowry) aik la'nat hai?
when my cousin got married her khala had a furniture set made for her bedroom. and it was a really nice one. i guess if the girls family want to give her some things its o.k., but the guy's family shouldnt ask for it because i think its rude. but the girls family shouldnt get her a house full of furniture and a car.