WHO IS JACK SCHITT?
The lineage is finally revealed. Many people are at a lossfor a
response when someone says, “You don’t know Jack Schitt”. Now you can
intellectually handle the situation.
Jack is the only son of Awe Schitt and O. Schitt. AweSchitt, the
fertilizer magnate, married O. Schitt, the owner of NeedeepN. Schitt,
Inc. In turn, Jack Schitt married Noe Schitt, and the deeplyreligious
couple produced six children: Holle Schitt, Fulla Schitt,Giva Schitt,
Bull Schitt, and the twins: Deep Schitt and Dip Schitt.
Against her parent’s objections, Deep Schitt married DumbSchitt, a
high school drop out.
After being married fifteen years, Jack and Noe Schittdivorced.
Noe Schitt later married Ted Sherlock and because her kidswere living
with them, she wanted to keep her previous name. She wasthen known
as Noe Schitt-Sherlock.
Dip Schitt married Loda Schitt and they produced a son ofnervous
disposition, Chicken Schitt.
Fulla Schitt and Giva Schitt were inseparable throughoutchildhood and
subsequently married the Happens brothers in a dualceremony.
The notice in the newspaper announced the Schitt-Happenswedding. The
Schitt-Happens children were: Dawg, Byrd, and Horace.
Bull Schitt, the prodigal son, left home to tour the world. He
recently returned from Italy with his new bride, PisaSchitt.
So, now when someone says, “You don’t know Jack Schitt”,you can
correct them.