I was friends with a guy, very very good friends, there was nothing romantic between us, we werent dating or anything, one night he said (arrogant **************) that i think you like me youre not admitting it told me he would never like me and that way was sorry if i thought that way, said i would never meet anyone like him but hes just not ready and if ive made something of nothing i shouldnt.
He said all that without me saying anything, or hinting or doing anything and i just saw him as a friend.
Since then things turned sour between us and complicated i tried to mantian a friendship but couldnt and started to get affected by him alot, and he would be very off and on, hot and cold, one day as sweet as pie then ignore me for days it just drove me mad.
SO i decided right im going to forget this guy who is obviously a bit weird in the head and an emotional abuser and i think just used me to boost his ego and cut him out my life.
Ive had summer holidays and ive been at home so its been easy. But i go back to uni in a week, im going to have to see him, we share mutual friends.
I just dont know how to act around him or what to do, like if i bump into him in class on the first day back, when im the library, when mutual friends gather eurghhhhhhh im just feeling really anxious about going back now!
Im really rubbish at hiding my emotions as well…i will try my hardest to keep cool but i know i will be all flustered and weird!
Re: Ive planned to cut someone out my life, but im worried i wont be able to.
Can you blame yourself for acting weird? That was a weird situation, lol.
At first I thought that the reason why he was wondering if you "liked" him was maybe because he liked you himself. But that's not the case.
He's not even a friend......that's not how friends behave. Treat him like an acquaintance. Civil.....but detached. If you see him in class......ignore him......treat him like vapor (like you truly didn't see him) and head toward your seat. Don't glance at him...and focus on the lecture.
If you go to the library........don't be on the look out for him. Just simply go there to do what you need to. If it's to study......then study. Don't search for him. If he comes up to talk to you...give a non relaxed and civil response to his greeting, etc. Among mutual friends.....just try to be normal. Don't make too special of an effort to talk to him. Talk to your other friends......if he talks to you...give a response....and then move on to other friends. Don't over-think it. It seems scarier in your head........but once you're at school and with friends....you'll go with the flow and feel more at ease.
Re: Ive planned to cut someone out my life, but im worried i wont be able to.
You are friends, absolutely nothing romantic between you, and then out of nowhere he tells you that he knows you are into him? Either he is mental or you have moulded the facts a bit. Perhaps knowingly or otherwise you might have dropped subtle hints? Like when a lady starts acting all wife-ish? Something must have made him feel like you are interested in him, and he sees you as nothing more but a friend, and he didn't want to go down the romantic lane? Also, you are perhaps in denial and keep telling yourself you are not interested in him, but actually you are. And now that he has made his position clear on the subject, you are feeling all disturbed and shattered. I don't know, most of you women lot are emotionally confused and unstable and end up in these uncomfortable weird situations. Sort yourself out.
Re: Ive planned to cut someone out my life, but im worried i wont be able to.
If you harbour no romantic feelings for him then you don't need to worry; if he is unimportant to you, who cares what he thinks or doesn't think? Just blazon it out, treat him how you treat everyone else in your group. If he behaves awkwardly with you then a simple 'dude, do we have a problem?' might work.
Re: Ive planned to cut someone out my life, but im worried i wont be able to.
hey thanks for your replies.
I definately didnt act wifeish at all, i never cooked cleaned picked up after or checked up on him. We spent alot of time together, i didnt really want to get into the story of me and him because thats another whole tangent....but during that convo he said 'im not saying there cant be anything for us in the future ( hes not muslim so there never will be) and im not saying i dont find you attractive ' but blah blah....so i dont have a clue what he was going on about....my only theory is...he liked me but rejected me before i could reject him? i dont really want to think about it or go into it.
I just want to concentrate on how im gonna deal with bumping into him, dealing with situations where he is around because i care about him alot as a friend.
Re: Ive planned to cut someone out my life, but im worried i wont be able to.
Having been in a similar situation , first year of university, here's my prespective on what I think prompted this guy to say this to you.
You obviously liked spending time with him , even if it was totally platonic from your side; but maybe he wanted something else. He probably feels that you were using him , just keeping him around and wasting his time. Hence his bitterness. I say , have a big argument with him and make him so bitter at you that he doesnt even want to look at you anymore !
Re: Ive planned to cut someone out my life, but im worried i wont be able to.
thanks for the advice mugofcoffee and cm :)
thing is i dont want to argue with him or anything i dont want him to affect me. Ive decided to cut him out, his hot and cold behaviour and random outburts just upset me and affect me.
I just want to be able to handle situations when i come face to face with him with poise and dignity.
I want to reach a stage where he doesnt affect me no matter what.
