It's "your day"!

[kakee]

Re: It’s “your day”!

@somegroovychick

^ **that depends. are your wishes in line with the wedding budget? what does your fiance and his family want? too often i’ve seen how brides want things that either the groom’s family cannot afford, or that her parents cannot, and then theres a whole lot of whining and moaning about how everyone is evil and no one respects that its “her day.” i call bs on that.

as for tolerating 300 guests, i don’t know if thats the right word to use either… why are you tolerating them? are they not all there to celebrate your day with you? is it really that terrible to have a big guest list? and why should the bride have most of the say? what makes her more special than the groom? if the marriage is going to be a union of two equal partners, and lets face it, we’d all fight tooth and nail to defend our right to an equal marriage, then why is the wedding so heavily skewed in favour of the bride and her family? especially when it often comes at the cost of hurtful feelings within the groom’s family?

**(i’m not specifically referring to you, just generally speaking.)

Well for me the functions I’ve been in that had 300+ people were entrance and graduation ceremonies at school. So its a bit overwhelming you see especially when my guest list would be about 50 people lol. Besides its cultural for desis to have hundreds of people at their wedding to celebrate it and I was thinking well I could have a flower girl(s) and some non-desi food.
I don’t see how thats unfair? When the wedding will be in Pakistan and there will be foreign guests who might not be able to eat Pakistani food. Flower girls and other things aren’t done in my SOs family and I’m definitely sure its because he’s Pakistani.

Also my SO doesn’t really mind he’s open to anything really as long as its not so absurd. (He said “no” to cake :() I can’t really think of anything that would cost an arm and a leg.. perhaps the flowers?
I don’t really know western, east/south asian weddings so my “demand” isn’t that big. I just know that I don’t want to wear red and I’m only going to have 2 or 3 functions

I know you weren’t “specifically” referring to me but it seemed like an attack.. I don’t want the moon or want a huge, heavy lengha etc. I just want to have a good experience and have fun with my husband and not be watched by so many people.. its embarrassing.