I’ve heard some parents confidently say that their younger children (even though they may be adults or in their teens) are rude/disrespectful/messed up because the eldest child is like that.
Do you think there is a great amount of truth to this…OR…it’s not so black and white and there are many factors that play into one’s behavior/attitude? Do you think it’s right to tell your eldest that they are the reason that the younger ones are behaving a certain way? Is it a guarantee that if the eldest is uber-respectful toward the parents…that the younger children will definitely be that way as well?
Do parents ..who have more than one child…often hold their eldest child wholly responsible (even if they don’t say it) for the way their subsequent children turn out?
I can understand when one's children are really young......because then the younger siblings can't really diffrentiate right from wrong...can't think in a broad way....and tend to follow the example of the older child who may even be percieved as "cooler." I've seen the little ones at school try to follow the older elem kids. In that situation, parents might encourage the eldest to set a positive example for the younger ones.
But when your kids are older....in their teens or adult.....they DO have the ability to reason and their personalities are more developed.....at that stage it seems wrong to dump the blame on one person.
Ok so my hubs cousin has m'A 3 boys. Eldst 5 has special eduational nds n mid one 3 n bby nearly 1 r nrmal kids. Yet 3 yr old ALWAYS does wat elder one does. Like he wants smethng so dcides to thrw a tantrum n mum dsnt bother eithr so 3 yr old thnks Its fne to do the same.Now I personaly thnk the mother is at fault fr leting them act ths way as she dosnt cntrol them hw she shud. Example- baby is in buggy eldst n mid r walking at least 10yrds away frm mom in a wrld of their own, I tel her to put them in a harness, mom 'idher ao harness pehn lo'3yr old replies ' agr harnes pehnao gay tho main ghir jaoun ga n I wil get hurt'Mom quickly puts harness away n cntinues walking with one in the mid of the rd n eldst walking at almst 20yrds away.
My eldest sis has always felt that whenver me or my other sister acted up or were naughty in some way, that she got the blame cos we were just "copying" her. Now we are all adults but still my parents will still blame her if we do anything wrong. Poor sis. I feel sorry for her, particularly cos when she and my other sis moved out, i got the blame when my younger cousins did anything wrong. Sigh.
