“I don’t want to achieve immortality through my work. I want to
achieve immortality through not dying.”
– Woody Allen
"My father never lived to see his dream come true of an
all-Yiddish-speaking Canada.
– David Steinberg
“I once wanted to become an atheist but I gave up.
They have no holidays.”
– Henny Youngman
“Don’t be humble; you are not that great.”
– Golda Meir
“It’s so simple to be wise. Just think of something stupid to
say and then don’t say it.”
– Sam Levenson
“I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in
fourteen days I had lost exactly two weeks.”
-- Joe E. Lewis
“The remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years
she served us nothing but leftovers. The original meal has
never been found.”
– Calvin Trillin
“Bankruptcy is a legal proceeding in which you put your money in
your pants pocket and give your coat to your creditors.”
– Sam Goldwyn
“A politician is a man who will double cross that bridge when he
comes to it.”
– Oscar Levant
“I don’t want any yes-men around me. I want everybody to tell
me the truth, even if it costs them their jobs.”
– Sam Goldwyn
- “The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen, nor touched…but are felt in the heart.” *