It takes the whole village to raise a kid.

Lifestyle Relationships
1

Youngest brother of my wife wants to have a say in upbringing of my kids. The other day he told my teen ager son that I( their father) made a wrong decision when I let him (my son) go to a movie with his friends.
He did not talk to me about it though , it has happened on many occasions that he would object on my decisions but again not on my face. So I let it slide and behave like nothing happened and I keep on going with my life.
I have told my sons and daughter to not to share any kind of plans or their activities with him. But now he would interrogate the kids to get the information out of them and the object to their activities.

What can I do about it ? I guess nothing till he confronts me ?
I believe in it takes the whole village to raise a kid but there are rules and regulations for it too.
If I he sees my sons and daughter doing something inappropriate behind my back he has all the rights to reprimand them.

2

Re: It takes the whole village to raise a kid.

Confront him. Politely. And say to him that if he thinks you have made a wrong decision about something you would appreciate it if he discussed it with you rather than saying anything to your kids as it undermines you when he does this.

3

Re: It takes the whole village to raise a kid.

or talk to your wife to make her bro understand that you guys dont want his help to raise your kids

4

ok with my limited experience I can tell you are going to confront him, eventually.
If I were you I would do it before he totally drive me nuts. I would do it now, when I can think straight and reason.

If it wasnt about kid, then I would just let things go bad and let every one see for them selves.

But with ppl(kids in this case) you got to do the right things and you need to do it quick.

Women have that instinct better then men. Its good to observe them once in a while.

5

Re: It takes the whole village to raise a kid.

no offense but he sounds like one of those rishtedaar that everyone here talks about.

Does he have kids of his own? is he married?

6

Re: It takes the whole village to raise a kid.

He is married but no kids as yet.

7

Re: It takes the whole village to raise a kid.

^ then he has no authority to dole out advice as what's acceptable for a TEENAGER to do and not to. (IMO)

8

Re: It takes the whole village to raise a kid.

You need to talk to him and lay out the boundaries, its not appropriate for him to make such comments to your children directly and undermine your authority/role as the head of the household.

IMHO, you telling your kids not to tell him about their activities and not confront him is not going to make a good impact on your kids. Talk to him ASAP and ask him to stay out of your household's business, maybe in a jokingly but firm and polite manner.

9

Re: It takes the whole village to raise a kid.

I would approach him and talk to him about it rather than tell the kids to ignore or not be completely honest with their uncle.

You need to deal with this instead of letting it slide.

10

Re: It takes the whole village to raise a kid.

have you talked to your wife about it? that would be a start, she can tell her brother to stop your usurping your authority or you can confront him yourself and tell him to come to you if he has any issues and not to put your kids in a difficult position.

11

Two options:

A) Confront him in a friendly and polite way: "dekhein, bache jab mukhtalif baatein sunte hein baron se to confuse hote hein, agar apko lagta hai ke meine koi ghalat faisla kiya hai to mujhse bolein takey mein bhi apni ghalti dekh sakoon"

B) If he is not such a nice guy then I would give an example of someone else who tried to give your kids advise and laugh it off by saying its hilarious how parents with no kids try to interfere and brainwash other peoples' kids.

12

Re: It takes the whole village to raise a kid.

why arent you confronting him…GOD mirch…yeh koe indian drama app nahi dekh rahay.

loll…tell him…salay, be in your limits! :mad:

13

Re: It takes the whole village to raise a kid.

If he says anything to your kids next time, you can literally tell him 'saalay, chup kar'

14

Re: It takes the whole village to raise a kid.

:smack: Zobia cracked the same joke

15

Re: It takes the whole village to raise a kid.

If he thinks that you are making wrong decisions regarding you kids...he needs to confront you not your children......just let him know that if he has issues with your decisions to talk to you or his sister if he is more comfortable with her, not your kids

16

Re: It takes the whole village to raise a kid.

he needs to mind his own business. Or you can do the same thing to him when he has his own kids

17

^I agree completely. He's a kid himself. And it is not his place to tell your children that he disagrees with your choices. Tell him that i he has problems with what you allow your children to do, he needs to discuss it with you and not with your children.

Your children should also be told that its Mom and Dad who are the boss, not this nephew.

He's undermining your authority and your kids will find this confusing and annoying.

18

so what the rules n regulations for your wife's brother and for your own brother? who can say how much to you and to your wife about your kids?

19

say what say what say what ? How much did you snort today ?

20

Re: It takes the whole village to raise a kid.

your kids should tell him *politely *that they will do what you say. you being their dad n all

I wrote this and thought about it and then agreed with myself. Dont get invlved urself. This will teach your kids diplomacy and also put the uncle in his place whilst asserting your authority over your own children.