After giving up ‘goondagiri’, Veeru has now joined an Indian body shopper and has become a Computer Consultant.
Jay goes to Mausi for ‘Basanti kaa haath mangane’…
MAUSI: Bura nahin maanna beta, itna to poochna hi padtha hai ki ladke ka khandaan kya hai, uske lakshan kaise hain, kamaata kitna hai
US me masters kiya hai?..
AMITABH: kamaane ka to ye hai mausi, ki ek baar biwi baccho ki jimmewari sar pe aa gai, to consultant ka kaam chod kar regular employee hoga aur phir kamaane bhi lagega.
MAUSI: to kya abhi kucch bhi nahin kamaata?
AMITABH: nai, nai, ye maine kab kahaa mausi. kamaata hai lekin, ab roj
roj to ‘client’ mil nahi sakta na, kabhi kabhi “BENCH” per baith jaata hai
bechara.
MAUSI: BENCH pe bhi aana jana hai?
AMITABH: haan mausi, ab ye kambakht Computer Consultancy cheej hi aisi hai.
Aur bench par to bade bade log jeseke bill gates, andrew grove, larry
allison bhi betha karte the.
MAUSI: To kya programmer hai?
AMITABH: chee, chi, chi, chee, chee! wo aur programmer? NAA! NAA!! wo to bahut hi acchhaa aur nek ladka hai, lekin waise ek baar kisi desi body shopper ke haat lag jaye na phir ‘language/RDBMS/QA’ ka kahaan hosh rahta hai! haath pakad ke ‘IDMS’ ya 'QA’karvaane bithadiya desi ne, ab isme bechaare Veeru ka kya dosh.
MAUSI: Theek kahte ho beta, programmer woh, DBA woh, DESI ke paas kaam karta hai woh, lekin uska koi dosh nahin.
AMITABH: mausi aap to mere dost ko galat samajh rahen hai, wo to itna
seedha aur bhola hai, arey Basanti se uski shaadi kar ke to dekhiye, ye
‘programming’, ‘DBA’ aur ‘client ke paas jane ki aadat’ to do din main
chhoot jayegi.
MAUSI: arey beta is budhiya ko samjha rahe ho! apne COMPUTER CONSULTANTS ko chore dene ki aadat kisi body shopper ki chhooti hai aaj tak?
AMITABH: mausi aap Veeru ko nahin jaanti, biswaas kijiye wo is tarah ka insaan nahin hai. ek baar shaadi ho gai to wo ‘PAGER’ bhi rakhna band kar dega, bas PROGRAMMING apne aap chhoot jayegi.
MAUSI: hai raam, bas yehi ek kami baaki rah gai thi, to kya PAGER bhi
rakhta hai?
AMITABH: to usme kaun si buri baat hai mausi, arey PAGER to PRESIDENT,VP, CEO aur unchey-unchey log rakhte hai haan.
MAUSI: accha! to beta ye bhi batate jaao ki tumhare ye gunwaan dost
assal me kis company ke employee hai?
AMITABH: bas mausi, hum ‘trace’ kar rahe hai, original H1 milte hi
company ka pata chal jayega aur hum aapko khabar de denge.
MAUSI: ek baat ki daad dungi beta, bhale sow buraiyaan hon tumhare dost main, phir bhi tumhare muh se uske liye tareef hi nikalti hai.
AMITABH: kya karoon mausi, hum body shoppers log hi kucch aise hai. to ye rista pakka samjhoon.
MAUSI: pakka! bhale saari jindagi ladki kuwaari baithi rahe,lekin aise
aadmi se Basanti ko nahin byahne waali, sagi mausi hoon koi sauteli maan nahin.
AMITABH: ajeeeeb baaat hai, mere itne samjhaane par bhi aapne inkaar kar diya, bechaara Veeru, na jaane ab agla client kaha milega!!
==============================================
Gabbar Singh and Software Consultants
GABBAR: Kittnay bug thay?
KALIA: Do sardaar.
GABBAR: Woh do! Aur tum teen. Phir bhee fix nahin kar sake? Kya soch kay aaye thay? Sardar khus hoga. Naya assignment dega, kyoon?
[Snatches a X terminal from a SIDEY.] Kitne session hain is
machine mein?
SIDEY: Chhay sardar.
GABBAR: Session chhay aur programmer teen. Bahoot nainsaafi hai.
[LOGOUT… LOGOUT… LOGOUT…] Haan.. ab theek hai… Ab hum operating system switch karega. Ab konse session me konsi operating system hein hume nahi pata. humko kuch nahi pata…
Jab yahase hazaro hazaro mil dur job per programmer internet se file download karta hein, to boss kaheta he ke logout ho ja nahi to gabbar ka virus aa jayega. Aur tum teen programmer ne gabbar ki company ka stock pura mittime mila diya.
Iski saja milegi..
Zarooor milegi! Tera kyaa hoga kaalia?
KAALIA: Sarkaar, maine aapka code likha hai.
GABBAR: To aab documentation likh 
