Ok so my MIL and FIL are visiting us. Sweet people. Do a lot for my husband and me. My FIL gets a bit annoying at times because of his age… understandable… BUT this is what my MIL does and it irritates me a lot and I feel like I can’t do a thing about it.
She keeps critisizing me on my weight. She tells me I should change my eating habits and stop sleeping and start working out. Seriously!!! Her own daughter got seriously injured because my MIL went to live with her for few days and told her she needs to start working out a LOT or her husband will leave her. So that’s what my SIL did and got seriously injured trying to loose weight aggressively. She can’t walk at all and is on bed rest with serious injuries and she has three little girls. Does anyone in the family see what the mom is doing to her own kids.. NO… when I say something I am told to shutup and she is right. She is sweet, I don’t argue on that but they are obsessed with thin girls to a point where my 65 yr old FIL goes out and keeps looking at skinny girls .. so weird. I was raised here in the US and I am very much confident in myself and my looks. My husband’s family is not very good looking to begin with and then with all this weirdness it drives me nuts, where I just want to tell them to go look in the mirror. They are all overweight and the mom is always trying to hard to tell the kids to lose weight. Now since i am the DIL I can’t talk back while the rest of the kids do and my husband doesn’t care what his mom keeps telling me all the time. She keeps telling me how bad my eatings habits are. They use extra ghee and butter in everything. Yes they do eat a lot of veggies but its loaded with butter and oil and masala. How different is it to eat that compared to the lil meat that I eat in my meals with no masala or ghee/oil.
How should I address this problem??!!! I am very very very annoyed. My husband doesn’t want to do anything with this.
Re: It irritates me....
Eat what you want and just keep saying haan jee you are right. That's all she wants to hear anyway. Let her have it.
Re: It irritates me....
^ Spiral...........are you really going to take someone who makes GROSS CONTRADICTIONS in their comments so seriously? She doesn't eat healthy herself.
As I've said before........I don't know why people feel the need to point out to others how they look. Everybody has access to a mirror and knows if they're short, tall, fair, dark, if they've lost weight, or gained weight. There's no need to for another person to point it out. And losing weight takes TIME. That's another thing the people don't understand. They think that their frequent nagging will produce instant results. Nope! It's not going to make anything happen any faster. And they've no idea how ridiculous let alone irritating they sound.
Your sweet MIL (I don't care how sweet she is) should not be taken seriously because: 1) She knows how to criticize and not how to encourage.......to the point of harming the other person. 2) She has caused complexes in her family. 3) She doesn't practice healthy eating habits herself. Therefore........her opinion doesn't really matter.......especially if your husband is okay with you. You said that you are confident...........so be confident. Don't let her get to you. And should you decide to lose weight.......do it slowly and only for yourself. Meanwhile......grin and bear it........be grateful she doesn't live with you.....in one ear and out the other.
Re: It irritates me....
^ Oh.........and I don't think that your FIL is checks out skinny girls because your MIL has instilled the obsession of being thin into her families.
It's possible that your MIL gets offended when her husband checks out thin women.......and that's why she believes that a woman would be in danger of losing her husband if she puts on weight.
Re: It irritates me....
You have a pervy FIL.
And if you want him to avoid staring at you, keep piling those pounds on!
**I was raised here in the US and I am very much confident in myself and my looks. My husband's family is not very good looking to begin with and then with all this weirdness it drives me nuts, where I just want to tell them to go look in the mirror. **They are all overweight and the mom is always trying to hard to tell the kids to lose weight. Now since i am the DIL I can't talk back while the rest of the kids do and my husband doesn't care what his mom keeps telling me all the time.
problem is with your MIL/FIL, FIL is a tharki baba who thinks he can check out other girls.... MIL is a typical aunty who instead of changing herself, projects her misery onto others. sympathize, keep your mouth shut, and live your life.
problem is with your MIL/FIL, FIL is a tharki baba who thinks he can check out other girls.... MIL is a typical aunty who instead of changing herself, projects her misery onto others. sympathize, keep your mouth shut, and live your life.
best advise ...
My husband's family is not very good looking to begin with and then with all this weirdness it drives me nuts, where I just want to tell them to go look in the mirror.
Shabaash. You've done well in expressing your views.
Oh and I guess you could make your own meals. Since they use too much ghee and oil.
Re: It irritates me....
Everyone pretty much has the same advice... listen to them and keep doing what I think is right. I guess that's a good way to handle this situation.
So is this a temporary issue when they come to visit you and your hubby
or do you live with them which requires me to think long and hard about what to advice.
I have been through similar things but dont live with them so don't have a problem anymore.
Re: It irritates me....
If your MIL is actually a sweet person as you say, she may truly mean well. She has a husband with a roving eye. Perhaps she put on weight and her hubby went looking at others. That hurts. And she may be trying to prevent that from happening to you.
Best to just tell her yes, you're right. I do plan to join a gym after we have our visit with you....and yes, I should eat better too. Why dont we stop using ghee in our cooking, that would help.
That should keep her quieter.
Re: It irritates me....
she sounds soooo annoying...i would also be annoyed if my mother in law kept talking about 'my' weight to me...ignore her, in one ear outta the other...
tell her your healthy enough...she should be focusing on doing Allah Allah at her age and quit being so superficial..
bloody pathetic
Re: It irritates me....
jus simply ignore her. Shes like my granny and she used to go on at my mum about things. My mum kept her mouth shut n ignored EVERY word. Their old and hav nothing better to do. Seriously jus brush it off, and keep smiling. Dont let things get to you, because they'll do it more.
Re: It irritates me....
suggest dieting together
Re: It irritates me....
You know, annoying as it can be, perhaps taking a step back and looking at things without emotion....could these MILs be right? If there is extra poundage, the MILs may be worried that their sons will lose interest and begin looking at others. They may truly have your best interest at heart and trying to prevent a hurtful situation.
I wonder why are you still looking. … You can be a perfect BHAOOO .. i mean BAAAHOOO … or PCG for president !! 
Re: It irritates me....
well it depends, if you are obese then i'm sure she has all the right to tell you to look after your health. But I think you should be alert.. like father like son.. if that budha can perv around, your husband is next in line to start his action soon So I guess your MIL is trying to warn you indirectly.
Re: It irritates me....
If she does that to her own daughter, then she is not discriminating you at all. and btw whats wrong with loosing weight?
dont complain, just go and loose weight!
kidding, just listen carefully and loose or not loose weight upto you :)
I am not obese or even fat. I have a broad body structure I got from my dad. But all they see is fat. I think you should look good and attractive at any weight. Some people do look better with a little weight. I am just one of them. I gained some weight ever since she started cooking. Generally I would only eat one meal a day. She eats three big meals a day. I am just saying... whatever she is saying.. I honestly don't care but I think sometimes people forget that what they are constantly saying or suggesting can be rude. I can't say anything back because i am the bahu.
But again she is just visiting, I shouldn't care. She does call every other day though frm Pakistan to remind me and my husband that we don't eat good and that we need to do some excessive training to lose weight.
Mamaof3... you are right ... sometimes yes she is just saying for our own well being but isn't there a limit to how much you should say and what you should say. Constantly calling someone fat .. idk man.
Re: It irritates me....
Yes, I know Spiral....my own mom is into "harping", never letting the subject drop and going at me incessantly!! Best thing is to agree wholeheartedly. Then go about your business as usual.